I can't write all that well and have been worse lately. I have been writing boring shit and I do have a reason for them.
This place is becoming not so safe. I now know too many people here. Not that I don't want that, but that's not what exactly I (literally) signed up for. There was anonymity in here, like some chat rooms. I don't put out anything that identifies me, and I look up others' profiles and fantasise (not in a sexual way but just like a child dreams and whips up some stories in its head using things around) how they look and sounds etc. knowing that I will never meet them for real.
I did join up because my real life friend invited me, but the deal was that he would be the only one who knew me. It was my way of saying
"This is how important you are to me, babe."
He was, still is, a very special human being.
It did take a long time before some real person started to show up. Once MySpace hit UK it became unstoppable. There goes my ex flat mate, my ex best friend, my ex, just ex. People whom I never wanted to see again. People, some of whom I wish dead. People who took everything away from me.
So, I then started looking for the rest of them.
I kept away from most of them. Well, I did contact some of them and some turned out to be a nice surprise, some avoided me, some I hate even more now. But I kept away from majority of them.
On top of it all, I took all the pictures down which looked remotely like me, though people would never say that I look anything like those photos. I took any info that says this is me, not Daraness.
Basically, I made sure that they can't contact me, though I could contact them. I could stalk them IF I intended to.
I am just SO afraid that they will come back and remind me of all the things that happened.
Humans' worst enemy is their past. No doubt.
