It all happens all at once...

Today my crush confesses his love for me. Well, I didn't buy it. You can't fall for someone after only about 6 months of talking, texting, and emailing, without even kissing that person, nah, not real. (I have only touched his hand when handing back his change.)

In the meantime the guy who has gotten rid of me shows up at my door after 10 months.

Life is a funny place to be.

My boss is currently on his annual leave and I am supposed to be in charge of my team (me plus a nutty one). I have so much to do and cannot keep an eye on the loopy one, but am doing my best. It feels like a madness handing a load of work which is basically 3 times more than usual amount, while the weather has been crazy hot outside, it feels like I am in a bad dream, or on an acid trip I've heard so much about. All the flowers came out all at once, the scenery is of May now in the filed (bluebell, lilacs and wisterias all in bloom, can you believe that???) my dogs were panting in heat when walking.

Something is wrong. or changing. I can sense something is up. My herald told me some changes / commotions in March and April, one being the earthquake, I take it, so what's the other? What, what?

Can anyone sense that? There is something in the air, can you smell it?

No wonder I need them at work.
My work life savers xx

Blush!

My crush did not kidnap me in his car, and I had a really nice afternoon at his work place, looking at iSAM and all. The more I spend the time with him the more I am addicted to this guy yet the more I am becoming sure this is not going to work. All is confusing as all other things in my life are.

Today I took my Figarion (and Waywee) to a long walk in fields, and I let him off the leash so he can play fetch. He, then, immediately began running towards this Alsatian 1/6 mile away with a bunch of people and did not come back to me as I commanded.

He finally came back after these nice people told him to bugger off, running back to me, only to return to Alsatian and the people right away. I was so embarrassed from afar, just repeating his name like idiot, and commands to come back to me.

He did this 3 times, running back and forth. I was all red but luckily the people didn't see me as they are now 1/4 mile away, walking away from us.

It is a tough call to decide if I should be happy that he listens to me eventually while he chooses the time to listens to me. Well, I guess he does have brain, which suites him fine. (Waywee can never return to me, I know this.)

More from my new collection.
They are so cute, but
I wish they made Wales ones.

Crazy

My crush has been so sweet to me, it was very obvious that he liked me probably more than I did to him. He was constantly in touch with me throughout every day, I got used to him being around, and since I genuinely enjoyed his company it was becoming more than infatuation, but something with a bit more back bone.

and he got me this!!

I told him that I was crazy about him, (as in, I am crazy about these new luxuary compact cars, or I am crazy about fusion menues available in yappie restaurants, or I am crazy about fitness platform shoes.) My, was he chuffed to bits. He flipped with joy, and I freaked out seeing his reaction. Did I say the right word? I never knew "crazy" has to equale "in love"?? AM not in love with my crush, no, no, no!!

Next thing I know he was asking so what this lead us to next? Urrr, nowhere. This will not go anywhere, he is not right for me, so all is staying as is. Yet he invited me to pop around to his work place, and how could I say no to that, he works for THE company.

He suggested that he drives out to my work place and pick me up as this saves me driving as well as the congestion charge. I declined but he insisted.

Am going there this afternoon. Hope he won't kidnap me in his car.

eBay and a drama

I have been hooked on eBay now for about 10 yrs.  Me and eBay had so many good memories and bad memories... I have spent far too much money with it, but, well, enjoyment of it is priceless.

I do also sell stuff on it, though due to their charges I never make that much money. Still sometimes it is better to auction stuff off than throwing them away.

I was looking at the list of things I sold, and thought,
"OK, it says I made X amount of money off sales, but the charge is Y and then PayPal charge is Z..."
and remembered a friend who used to sell stuff there. She had set up a shop there and was selling clothes and stuff, I think, I am not too sure, it sounded like she was selling her junk off but her junk was quite expensive to begin with so she was making a thousand a month before charges.

She was a pre-op transsexual then, and was doing eBay to make money for the operation. She was also driving a cab, she told me over the phone, because she did not want to wait for NHS fund for the operation, and then she also told me to look up her web site.

I did, and there she was, a mobile pre-op tranny dominatrix.

It was shocking, to say the least.

I find all the sex industry thing disgusting, so I stopped talking to her soon after. I did not like the idea of making money for her operation in that way, either. If she was certified as genuine gender identity disorder then she should get the fund off NHS, rather than whipping married men's behind at their houses while wives and kids are away (this was what she described her work was like to me.)

She was also a lesbian, too, which I just didn't get. She was being assessed by the doctors when she met her GF, then they started to have hetero relationship. Then she still insisted that she was a women trapped in man's body. How could I understand that??

She was a good friend of mine, and we were very close for years, and her gender issue never interfered our friendship until this GF thing happened. Then we lost in touch till she googled me and emailed me. I still cut her off, though.

I know lots of "interesting" people like her...

I wonder if I meet these people because I ooze some sort of weird vibe?
It is time to change that.

To mark my new start (sort of)
I have bought my frist BIG bud duck.
Thank you, House of Fraser for having SALE on.

Things To Do This Year

So, my new friend who often contributes her wisdom on my humble blog dropped in earlier in and asked me about my new year's resolution. Mmmm, I don't actually do "resolution" because I hate breaking promises; I am the furthest thing from "new year's resolution motivation".

Anyway, well, that very thought of me not even trying to achieve anything, and confessiong so at right beginning of the year made me nauseated, so I had a rethink, and decided that I will do lists each month to carry out some projects that are planned fo this year.

This is not exactly a new year's resolution, because the lists will contain things "not to do".

I can see infinity in it.

I've realized that I do certain things, consiciously, which are bad for me, very much aware how bad those are for me, and so I cannot help but to self-doubt my reasons for doing those. Is it self-harm? I must put these things on my list, and "not to do" those. I will make no-drink day, no-texting day, no-calling day etc. etc. and wipe my standing ground clean, so I can built something on it.

It will be so hard, I have an obsessive personality, but I need to make some changes in my life, or my life this year will be stagnant.

Sunday is Ending

(Well, it has officially ended about 40 min ago.)

I am not a big fan of Sundays. It is probably the dread of Monday overwhelms the possibility of joy for the resting day. I am currently having this to sleep.

Hot Milk, Large Baileys, shot Vodka,
shot Creme de Cacao,
shot scotch, and dash Amaretto.
(Let's call this Sunday Milky Blues.)

I am just trying to sleep, so going to put some totally, even more so than usually, random staff and sign off.

Here is what my desk looks like, in a response to my new friend who put a lovely duck pictures for me. I have tonnes more ducks, in much better picture, but I just wanted you to imagine your picture on my computer, over these.

I like some fowls, immensely. I was once told that I look like many of them. I wish I was this cute.

Please someone buy me this thing from ASDA.
(Considering it is Kalanchoe double, the price £3.50 is
actually not that bad, but is too much for me!)

Christmas is full of traps. They keep throwing these cute birdie things at me in supermarkets. I don't want any Christmas stuff but how could I avoid them??

This drink is not getting me drunk at all, how comes?

Hurrraay, a Duck Card!!

My good friend Steve sent me a card, which arrived a day late but never too late. This is the best card, EVER!!

See, it's the picture of one of my
duck collections!!!!

 Thank you Stevo, love you, man.