Story of My Deformity

This was a while back, I was at a private hospital, having my knees examined by mum's boss (bone specialist) who took so many X-rays and then wiggled my legs and knees and then said,
"Well, you are born with deformity in your knees."

Did not think the choice of words he used were nice, but that basically was that, I have knees that are abnormal. I happened to have a dent on my ear, so that makes 3 in total. I don't mind having something that are just mine, really.

What it is, though, is that my knee caps are rather loose and my knees are very easily popped. Have done so twice in past 8 years, and it had happened again 4 weeks ago.

I was watering my garden, and thought about washing my car as the hose was set towards where car was parked. So I went inside to get a bucket, and found it, then bent my body backward to grab a sponge which was right behind me. Then next thing I've lost balance and I was on floor. I knew what had happened, but I was in such a pain and shock I couldn't move to see my knee to check it.

A minute had passed and I put all my remaining guts and energy to look down (or up in this case, as I was laying on the floor and my thigh was up in the air,) and sure enough, there was a lower part of my leg missing below my knee,but just hanging off the joint.

Paramedics cut open my sweat pants
(@£3 from George!)

I began screaming as if I was being murdered, through the open door, as loud as I can. It was late afternoon to early evening and I knew people will hear me, but, man, that felt like it was forever before someone said,
"What is the matter?"

It was quite lucky that I had my knee dislocated at that time of the day, at where I was at. I had all my necessities in visible proximity, and even had my crutches next to me from the last dislocation.

Paramedics arrived within 30 min, gave me laughing gas, and snapped my knee back in place, which is one of the worst things I had to experience.

This story goes on for a bit as that was the only beginning. Well, let's just say, thanks to my neighbours, paramedics and my crush I am OK today, and am walking about with some aid of crutches.


to be continued...

Eternal Entity

I use a mobile phone which connects with my PC and backs up everything. The software for it also works as a modem so one can type on PC then send it as txts. This function, as far as I know, is a bit rare thing and for a txt addict like me it really is an essential tool, preventing me to move onto a smart phone.

I like keeping my txt messages, especially from someone whom I am crazy for. I keep all the txts I have ever received from Mr. EggBe, and the same goes for my crush.

Used to the same for the guy who has gotten rid of me 12 months ago, and I still have them somewhere in my hard drive. But even back when I was madly "in" with that guy I knew very much that there will be a day when I find the files and thing,
"Why on earth did I ever obsess over stupid messages like them?"

Today the software started acting up and I have lost all my old texts received since this March. I am guessing that's about 1500 txt messages from my crush. They just went and nowhere to be found. I have no idea what they said, I never had chance to read them back as there were so many, and I naturally panicked. Oh dear, what am I to do now, my record of correspondence with someone who mean so much to me...

But then again, do I feel this way for how long? I mean he could be gone tomorrow, and I can immediately start hating him from tonight if anything happens. Why am I clinging onto memory that's 3 months old to a day old. Age of memory makes no difference, the only common thing is that,

it has happened, and it is in the past,

move on, forget storing them somewhere,

just keep going.

Mr. EggBe once told me, once someone stop contacting you then make sure to erase that person's number. The person has chosen exist from your life and there's no use waiting for it to return. There's no sin in forgetting someone who left you.

I am a storere, my house is full of junk,

but some day, I will just get rid of them all. And who knows, he may be waiting for you 2 days from today, 2 years from today, 20 years from today.

Happiness Within?

I took a day off and went to Gloucestershire to feed Penguins

It was my first day off, as in a day of fun, since forever, and I just wanted to take my dogs and a friend to Gloucestershire to see King Penguins.

My banner picture is of King Penguins I took last year in Berlin Zoo, and they were fat and beautiful, yet they were so far away from me, as their habitat was within a climate controlled glass room.

When we got to the Birdland in Bourton-on-the-Water, and as soon as walking into the birds area I pretty much came face to face with these fatties.

I could have touched them at this point.

My company was in a generous mood who also knew too well how hard I was working for weeks and weeks including weekends, for free, decided to surprise me with a gift of the right to feed penguins there. I was speechless when I found out this was pre-booked prior to our visit, and deeply touched.

Anyway, so here we went the feeding time, I was led through the back of the penguin house, and the keeper gave me all the instructions such as;

Do not pat penguins,
Do not pick the fish up from floor if you / penguins drop any,
Do not be startled by the hand reared penguins who will think you are the mum and will not leave you alone,
etc. etc.

This is me feeding the hand reared penguin who just stood around my feet like a kitten.

Meet "Spike" the Penguin.

The experience was once in the life time thing for me. The right to feed actually costs quite a bit, but not only that, the fact I was almost squished by hungry King Penguins while holding dead fish in my Marigolded hands were just too fun and joyous to be described by my limited vocabulary. It was just like a dream, but somehow a lot better than a dream.

It was quite a hard work though, feeding them birds. I mean, small penguins (Humboldt) ate small fish that were scattered into pool, but I find throwing fish at the right timing so the birds can catch them while swimming at the full speed was not a piece of cake.

Then there were Kings. I guess they weren't too starving or something, but I had to walk around remembering which penguin was fed and which was not, instead of let them come to me asking for food. Then I have to be patient before they open their beaks to swallow the fish. Some pecked me a lot, and some plain refused to eat.

The 4th penguin from the left, the kind of fluffy one, is the one who starred in Batman Returns, and he is apparently 32 yrs old (penguin year or human year, am not sure which.) He was limping a little but was a character. He ate from me, so that was cool :)

It was a fun day, and I thank my dear friend for the gift, and for spending this special day with me.

Penguins are simply so beautiful. And fat.

Flirt Alart!!

Was at a pub working tonight, and this Ship tycoon guy came in. He is extremely good looking, charming guy of early 40s, who drives a Porsche with a personalized registration number plate, and drinks Kronenberg.

Girls at the pub all think I fancy him, because I get a bit flirty around him. Sure, he is my type, I liked his looks even before I knew he was rich, but he is married. ....I only flirt for his car!!

Every time I see him drunk I coo up to him and say,
"Oh, I lurrve your car, will you let me touch it one day?"
and that's been going on for like 2 yrs now.

TONIGHT, he let me start his car engine.

"Dee, you sit there, and put your feet on the crutch all the way, aaaand turn the ignition, NOW!"

OMG, that rev!! I fell in love instantly!! I must have it!! Oh, Roy Sparks, I know what you were talking about now!! I want it so much!!

One day... maybe.

I love cars, love them, I do...

Thanks K-OB. Tomorrow you get in your car and wonder why the driver sheet is pulled up so far to the front. He-he.

Truman, Not Quite Capote

I used to write novels when I was in high school. Looking back now I was seriously talented, even though some of the stuff now makes me blush due to emotional overload. I think just had a good sense in human psychology and instinctively knew how current flows in day-to-day life, so to speak.

I've stopped writing when started to speak in non mother tongue language every day, because actually began forgetting my first language, and my priority was to adopt into new linguistic life.

Then I realized that I could no longer produce any novels because anything I wrote became so fake and appeared to be fictitious in my eyes. ...My actual life was far too dramatic and complicated already.

After then my life became even more dramatic and almost entertaining. I think it was around in 2005 when my friends started telling me that they couldn't keep up with my life story because there were too much stuff happening, it was almost like watching EastEnders!

These days the situation has not eased up at all, and I continue living life that is probably as "happening" as any day time dramas in American TV network, I don't even bother telling my friends any more. (It's just not possible to keep them updated. Way too many characters, way too many incidents, and way too perplexing emotions.) So much so I sometimes wonder if I am in one of those "Truman Show" type stuff and that my whole life is scripted by some producer.

Today was one of those days I was almost totally convinced that I was in such a show. Why 3 exes get in touch with me within 2 weeks, while my crush is calling me almost twice daily and texting non-stop declaring how he wishes to be with me, yet another ex texts me announcing he broke up with his GF?? That's 4 in 2.5 weeks!!! OK, this is too much twist, I can't take this any more. Ahhh leave me alone, what's next, what the heck!?!?!?

Oh, I bet they will kill my best friend off next, or will they bring my dead dog back into life???? or a second family my Dad was hiding???? What????

Co-Star (pretty much mended)

On a Day Like This

The sun was in its full power, shining down on us lounging in the long weekend,
I was being so lazy and it was getting later in the afternoon,
better start with my garden or I will grow root on my PC,

I got up and opened the front door while holding back Waywee,
all the while Figarion just jumped through me and ran out of the house.

He ran around for a sec and came back, only to run back into the busy road,
all I heard was a screech of a brake,

then saw my stupid dog running staright back to me,

I was shouting at him for not coming back to me when called,
why didn't you listen to me, young man, you are so silly,

I went back into the house but someone followed me and I heard the knock,
"Sweetheart, your dog WAS hit by a car so you have to take him to the vet,"
there was a stranger telling me this,

but Figarion was fine. He really was acting normal.
I sat holding Fig thinking what to do.
I poked him everywhere but Fig didn't yelp, so obviously nothing was broken, just a scartch or two.

I gave it a while, but Fig was still fine,
yet I took him to the vet, just in case, despite the out of hour fee.

The emergency vet was short staffed (everyone is on bloody holiday now due to Easter and Royal wedding bank holidays), it was totally unmanaged and chaotic,

when we walked into the consultaion room the vet shrieked and froze in front of my face and told me to step back,
before urging us to go into the next room.

Later I heard him telling his assistant,
"There is a dead cat in the cosultation room A, can you take of it for me?"
and I then knew why there was a crying couple standing outside when I arrived.

My stupid Fig was fine. He was costing me a fortune, but all I did was to hug him and told him that I was glad he was still with us.
"What would I have done if you were gone, don't you dare do that again."

Hope he learnet his lessons and now knows that car is not something he can run through.

Romance is...

When you are nuts about someone who is not supposed to be your object of the affection, everything you do with that person becomes the ground for debates. I am not going to proceed anything with my crush and the idea is mutual with him so we are remaining friends, but we do go out occasionally for a bite, and it looks, and feels like a date.

The other day we went out, and the Spanish place put us in the corner in a full view of Thames. It was late afternoon and sun was out, and was beautiful. We sat there look into each other's eyes, and I am thinking,
"How come this feels so right, and I am not with this person?"
I mean, I am not here's-to-looking-at-you-kiddo kind of person, in any situation, not even with boyfriends. I do not have an ounce of romance in my blood, that's what that is.

What was the worse part of this was that the entire time we were there there was a massive search going for a missing swimmer right in front of us, and there were police boats and coast guards going up and down in our view. We were also sat 3 yards from the missing guy's friend frantically calling people up in tears (not that we could hear as the guy was outside of the patio) and this should all negates any romantic notion, but it didn't.

Here I am in the middle of 4 day long weekend, completely oblivious to the Royal wedding fever, just thinking stuff as any other day.

My garden. Now taken over by myosotis, and two dogs.