You Ask What is the Best Diet? Try Getting Your Heart Shuttered

Can't remember since when, but in past many years I'd stopped eating after each time someone broke my heart. Sometimes that's because my body rejected any food (like last time I actually went on for 3 days without ANY food and had to force myself to eat something as I almost fainted,) and sometimes it's just a tactics I used to take my mind off things.

Yeah, I think my heart is too easily broken, it's stupid, I know, though it only happens once every few years. (Coz I basically don't meet that many people.)

This time I stopped, because I had to put myself to numbness, kind of like a faked state of forgetfulness, tranquility, euphoria if you like, and then just carried on not eating from there. Lost a stone in weight, and must say I look rather good. A little haggard, because I was sad (can't deny that I still am a little), but looking trimmed nonetheless.

I don't actually believe in thiness = beauty, therefore I didn't lose weight to get back at someone, or feel better about my body image, but it was about being in control of my life. I do know many people with eating disorders do such things to feel control over their lives, because they have much bigger problems they can't possibly manage / eliminate.

I know people do look at me now when I am out, and that is probably because I feel more confident, not because I am slimmer, but because I am more comfortable with the fact I am in charge of my life completely. Even when my dog eats my collection of rubber duckies, I still feel in control as oppose to when I was under someone else's influence. (That's love, maaan, who needs it?)