I was not going to let it bother me, and I actually had to look at the calendar numerous times before I actually knew it was today, that was how much I was not bothered by today.
And this bitch in a black BMW fucking honked at me at the Sunbury at 9.15, for blocking her way because she decided to sway between lanes. How dear you, you fucking so-and-so,
and the next minutes I've completely lost it. The whole day went out the window.
I could not say a word till 12.14, too scared to burst into a full explosion, instead I squeezed out this pathetic paper thin smiles here and there, while inside I was boiling and freezing, tears and blood splashing out simultaneously from my nerves. And everyone at the office was very much aware of all of this and did not say a sentence to me. Clever cowards.
By 17.25, one of my colleagues accidentally forgot how bad the place I was at and decided to insult my intelligence by not telling me the obvious but by changing her tone of voice while saying,
"I cannot possibly get you."
and I've snapped. I heard it in my head. Then I actually was yelling like a woman at this one.
By 18.45, while pushing a trolley in ASDA, getting 2 tabs of Haagen-dazs for 4 quid I buried my head in a mountain of crisps, nearly pushing the trolley into a woman with a handheld basket.
And this bitch in a black BMW fucking honked at me at the Sunbury at 9.15, for blocking her way because she decided to sway between lanes. How dear you, you fucking so-and-so,
and the next minutes I've completely lost it. The whole day went out the window.
I could not say a word till 12.14, too scared to burst into a full explosion, instead I squeezed out this pathetic paper thin smiles here and there, while inside I was boiling and freezing, tears and blood splashing out simultaneously from my nerves. And everyone at the office was very much aware of all of this and did not say a sentence to me. Clever cowards.
By 17.25, one of my colleagues accidentally forgot how bad the place I was at and decided to insult my intelligence by not telling me the obvious but by changing her tone of voice while saying,
"I cannot possibly get you."
and I've snapped. I heard it in my head. Then I actually was yelling like a woman at this one.
By 18.45, while pushing a trolley in ASDA, getting 2 tabs of Haagen-dazs for 4 quid I buried my head in a mountain of crisps, nearly pushing the trolley into a woman with a handheld basket.
By 19.10 I was pumping gas and sniffling, and by 19.20 I saw a lovely couple happily laughing and started crying.
It is not about you. You don't bother me any more even though you have clearly ruined my life and my ability to function for next decade or so. You don't bother me because I know you will rot in hell, and that day is not so far from you. It is more about the past and the future the day represents. This is the only day I hold regret in my heart. You don't deserve that much grief from me, you fucking shit.
By 20.09 I was totally OK. The day is almost over. I only had 2 scoops of Haagen-dazs.
I just want to go.
