One Way to Go

I have been unwell for about a week now. It started as a little sore throat, and gradually became a common cold, took me about 4 days before I was fully blown ill, by then it was Christmas day.

I am not really into Christmas, but am not oppose to it like I used to a few years ago. I hated Christmas because I was always alone. I still am alone and continue to be but I don't hate the holiday, even when I am sick, helpless and alone. Why?

Does anyone remember the episode of Sex and the City where Sam Jones bought her own apartment then got sick, and all her men who she was doing didn't even pop in to aid her unless they get laid? And she became a woman who just wanted to get married? Well, I guess that was sort of me over Christmas up until recently, not that I never wanted to get married, but you get the zest.

But I'm telling you this. Surviving a cold alone, helpless and hopeless is an absolute misery, yet it is a million times better than surviving it with someone who would not want to help you. One of my old, old exes was texting me on the day, asking how I was. This is the same guy who demanded me to pay him his bus fare when I asked him to come and take care of me as I was bed-tied for 3 days with a bad cold. (He never did when he used to phone me up at 1am with urges.) Last year I was seeing someone who told me off for inviting him over then told him that I was coughing a little that day, yelling,
"Why didn't you tell me that before I left my house?? You can pass something!"


Now I am just thankful that I do not have these people in my life, truly so when I am ill! even over the holiday season which is totally depressing to all the singletons and loners out there.

It is nice to hate one less thing.

A pic of jellyfish from Berlin Zoo.
Buoyancy is another way to survive one's life.

Mr. EggBe Says,

"Dee, you are a cxxt."

I am not a big fan of C word, and I can just hate Mr. EggBe for his fondness towards saying the word every minute on the minute, but in this case I really am one.

Ever since the new tax year's started I was feeling a pinch. I felt like I was always short of money. Somehow, somewhat, I was always a little struggling to make the monthly saving each month.

I put it down to the fact I was gone on a holiday to Pacific, or my addiction for eBay-ing every now and then. I have tightened my budget even more than usual, and cut down many aspects of daily expenses, and I was OK in the end.

Urrr, well. I wonder how that was possible, when Inland Revenue actually taxed me 75% more than they should have since April 2010??

My big boss called me into his office and said,
"Dee, I think you got a wrong Tax Code on your payroll. You must contact the tax people."
Apparently, I was on an emergency Tax Code for 6 months, and was not tax exempt for the allowance, instead fully paying Tax all way through.

I am a tight arse, and I love budgeting. I love sitting around analysing my saving plans, and review my expenses. I keep all my bills, receipts, and bank statements for as long as past 10 yrs. Yet I fail to review how much I am getting paid???

I have done very similar, yet even worse thing with my money a while ago, which, luckily I could compensate, but took me 3 yrs, THREE LONG YEARS, for me to even realize that I was on a wrong payment plan. I am a classic see you next tuesday, I am.

In the meantime here is the individual
who lives the motto;
"Ignorance is Bliss"
(Baywee after a bath, double in size.)

Snow! Slow Down!

That was the sign on M4 for past 3 days. And, yes, 1st day (which is 2 days after the actual snow day) the road was frozen and the sign was accurately helpful. But then it all melted away and there wasn't even any left on hard shoulders this morning, but the sign stayed.

Yet my gay boss's flight got cancelled twice now, 2nd one would have been today. He is trying to go and see his long time partner who left first and waiting for him, and poor thing got stuck here, running around sorting his work schedule out.

An inch of snow totally stops trains in this country. It is particularly bad in London, I think. Last winter I had to take trains to go to work in London, because I crashed my car and couldn't get a courtesy car because everyone else was crashing cars, too, so I left about 6.30am, and got in at around noon. All the trains were cancelled or delayed and I sat on freezing cold station bench for a long, long time.

We don't have snow tires, and apparently wearing chains is illegal now. My friend tried to get snow tires last week and was told the earliest he can get them will be April 2011. British tire makers (if there is any) don't do snow tires, so have to have them shipped all the way from Europe, I think.

We are snowed in like never before for this year and the last. Maybe we need to rethink the way we carry on our winters?

A few days before my "slip".

Sunday is Ending

(Well, it has officially ended about 40 min ago.)

I am not a big fan of Sundays. It is probably the dread of Monday overwhelms the possibility of joy for the resting day. I am currently having this to sleep.

Hot Milk, Large Baileys, shot Vodka,
shot Creme de Cacao,
shot scotch, and dash Amaretto.
(Let's call this Sunday Milky Blues.)

I am just trying to sleep, so going to put some totally, even more so than usually, random staff and sign off.

Here is what my desk looks like, in a response to my new friend who put a lovely duck pictures for me. I have tonnes more ducks, in much better picture, but I just wanted you to imagine your picture on my computer, over these.

I like some fowls, immensely. I was once told that I look like many of them. I wish I was this cute.

Please someone buy me this thing from ASDA.
(Considering it is Kalanchoe double, the price £3.50 is
actually not that bad, but is too much for me!)

Christmas is full of traps. They keep throwing these cute birdie things at me in supermarkets. I don't want any Christmas stuff but how could I avoid them??

This drink is not getting me drunk at all, how comes?

My Boss's Obsession

My boss at my pub job, recently acquired a new hobby of tropical fish. He was given a tank for his 50th birthday (bought by all of us, how nice of us,) and started building it right after.

He had advices given from experts, and spent all his spare time and considerable amount of dough on buying fish and all the accessories and such.


This is a snapshot of his tank about 2 months in. You can tell how much staff/fish/effort he's put in in a very short period;

Just for the reference here is my tank, 18 months in;

Mine is subtle, and, well, economical. The sand is cheap pond gravel, and all the plants are from IKEA. Submerged objects are all second hand.

Anyway, so he put more fish each week, and after about 6 weeks I started to tell him that he has too many in there. The rule of fish keeping is, "take your time". I took 6 months before I decided to increase the number of fish to double, and took me further 6 months to do so.

He said to me that he checks water daily and all is well. He changes water every 3 days, and he even use store bought pure water to do so. (OMG, I didn't even know there was such a thing!) Ohh, ok then, I guess I only do water change once a month, so I shan't say no more.

But then he started having problems, though he didn't really lost his fish he always had some problem to report every time I went to work. He reckons the gourami is dying, and then he thinks that Guppy babies are polluting water, then he tells me that plec he bought is not eating enough.

His world now is full of fish problems, and he tells me all with such a joy, not because he enjoys fish's suffering but because he loves running around for his beloved fish, and has to tell me of this.

But, the thing is, he just has such a weird knowledge base on fish keeping, which never fails to stun me. I mean, he once said,
"Fish are gasping for air today, you think I have too much water in my tank?"

And he always buys fish (well his son-in-law gets them for him) and just drops it straight to tank, immediately. Not heard of acclimation?? And he never checks water temperature when changing water. He gets a tank of pure water from store and dumps it in his tank.

And how come he hasn't killed no more than 2 fish so far?

I am just not getting my head around this at all.

We are snowed in today.
Figarion loved running around on
this bloody thing!!

An Exciting New Project... 2

I told them, by bringing up some plans of where I put it and how it will affect them.

They sort of said yes, but I have to do the presentation now. Not powerpoint kind, but  need to demonstrate what it actually be like to have a tank in our office, or outside of the office.

I am going to work with a fish tank tomorrow to do just that. Shall I put cut-out of fish on there to make it more visualistic?

An Exciting New Project... I need Your Support!!

Well, I have this idea, which may just totally come to an halt tomorrow, but for the time being I am excited about it and want to pursue.

OK. Here goes.

I want to set up a fish tank at work.

I have all the stuff for it, such as a tank, pump, foods, etc. And I will pay for the fish. All they (bosses) have to do is to give me 40 x 40 cm space and a word "yes" for me to set it up.

There is no obvious reasons for them to say no. The top guys like fish, and they don't do much work so am sure they are happy to look at fish when bored.

But I think they will say no. They just say no to anything that's even remotely exciting.

OK, so I must go about it carefully. How can I bring it up? What is the best way to go about it?

Any advice is welcome. Wow, I've never done this (Yahoo Answers kind of stuff) in my blog. This is new, too!

Song about Hammersmith

I got stuck in Hammersmith trying to go to Fulham for a movie premier my gay boss gave me a ticket for, spent a good hour in that big round about circling the Walt Disney building. My phone kept picking up Disney wifi and kept asking me to type in employee ID to go online. There was a Thomas the Tank Engine show (Or was it Pixie Lott??) in Apollo and all kids or similar were running around. I gave up queuing when I heard the St. Paul church bell rang for 7pm as the premier was from 6.30pm and my gay boss warned me that there will be no trailers. I then pulled into the car park under A4, spent next hour in my car watching kiddies and traffic go by.... kiddies moving 20 times faster than traffic.


I was sitting there with this tall Disney building in full view, being forced to remember an old acquaintance who was supposed to be working there till last month, on its top floor. Somehow imagining him pulling out his car from snazzy underground car park amongst other prestigious and, or wasteful cars such as X5, or maybe 350Z, to go home, in a headache causing traffic like this, day after day after day. Him doing so was looping in my head like that GOLF TV ad,



No idea why I was thinking of you, you are just a distant memory to me now. God, I miss your BS ranting, well, no, not really. Never mind, the point is that I have too many memories around that part of London, despite the fact I've only been passing through there and never even had one drink in the town. Why do I have to get melancholy by sitting in front of Apollo, is a mystery to me, I have spent far more time in Camden, or Vauxhall.

Then I saw this guy, a really old guy with a cane, with a bag or two from a corner shop. His steps are narrow, so narrow in fact he barely moved when he leaned forward.

I sat there amongst all things in all kinds of motion, this guy was stagnant as if to make the statement to the world that his body was held down to the geographical spot there by the force of the planet, or he was in a different time flow.

On the background the traffic began to sped, against the blurry old guy, or at least it began to appear that way to my eyes.

A young man who was tall and decent looking was observing the guy for a little while from a few yards away, and I thought the youth was debating whether or not to mug the olden who clearly didn't have much on him. The young man then gently approached the old guy, and most likely offered to help him, though I am not sure what he could have done as the old guy was actually quite tall and showed the resemblance of well built man he probably once was, so cannot be piggy backed or anything, and the store bag did not contain much and seemed light, so all could anyone do was to walk along with him at 0.005mph. Well, old man gestured he was ok on his own and the young man walked away. It took further 2 min before the old guy was out of my window frame.

The traffic slowed down hell of a lot after he was gone. I was stuck there for altogether 4 hrs. I got tired of having visions on a loop about someone whom I was meant to have forgotten, very much regretting not to carry a book or magazine, so blared out Bill Evans tunes and pretended that Hammersmith was one big giant movie.

Ring Ring

My phone was ringing,
"oo oo, it's an unknown number"
ring tone. Ohh man, is it Spence again?

urr, no, much worse. Man, it's him. (Makes 3 out of 4, as I predicted. Darn, am so good.)

More to follow (maybe.)

Melvin Udall Says...

My colleague is going a bit loopy lately. I have been saying to my bosses that she is losing it, and nobody took me very seriously. Well, nobody took her seriously, I guess.

When someone with hypochondriac tendencies gets stuck somewhere he/she will come up with something like depression. I am not sure if she actually IS depressed or not, but her behaviour is becoming erratic, and she has been nothing but a selfish, unresponsive, sobbing (!) mess in the past few weeks.

She then self-diagnosed herself to be "depressed" (and menopausal) and started acting like a depressed (and menopausal) person, rather than just a regular nuts. (I think she is nuts, rather than depressed.)

Having gone through a nervous break-down myself (I am a child of Ally McBeal era, and I, too, convinced to take steps to depression when was having difficulties; counseling, therapists, doctors, all that drama, minus pills. Pills are evil.) I was not too sure if she actually was depressed, instead of just sad.

She began protesting me and others while sobbing and gasping, because she feels she was under appreciated and ignored (we had to ignore her as she was distracting us all from carrying on running the business,) and all tears coming down, and she was saying,
"I am going to go over the line, I am so pushed and can't take this any more...!!"

It was rather hysterical. And all I could think was Mr. Udall saying,
"You're a disgrace to depression."

As Good As It Gets (1997)

I may sound a bit cold and unsympathetic, but there are reasons for that, such as;
I just don't think she is actually medically depressed. I don't see any symptoms of it.
She is creating the cause of sadness to herself by not getting out to have life.
She is not making enough effort to progress at her job, and keep blaming others for not getting any promotion.
She was very, very unsupportive when I was having problems at work, and personal life.

This is not a revengeful thinking. I do feel for her in many ways, I mean, life is a bitch, it's not easy to swallow, I know. But you are responsible for your own life. You can ask for help, and you should, rather than making so much scene to make others' working life difficult, which only results in making her life lot tougher.

Here is the source of my anti depressant xxx

Ohh well.

Spencer Texts Me Tonight

This guy lives on my desk in my office.
We've been through together a LOT.

at 9pm, telling me there is 1 day only 75% OFF sale on Men's lambs wool jumpers.

Yes, Marks & Spencer is having a pre Christmas sale tomorrow, people.

I was slightly annoyed about the txt. M&S should not do this to single people, I dare say.

I mean, it's bad enough to receive a txt message at this time of the night when one is single, after not receiving any for almost 2 weeks (mainly because I stopped drunk txting random people; well done! me,) and the phone tells me it's from an unknown number by ringing the special "it's an unknown number" ring tone, which means it could be from any people whose number I have erased, only to find out it's a SALE text about something you only possibly need if you have a partner who is fond of lambswool sweater (i.e. my ex.)

I should make an official complaint to M&S, I think I should. Their marketing people suck, they should REALLY look into singletons' psychology, because that's where the money is. (I mean, look at all these dating sites and porn sites, they ARE the money!)

It's snowing again in South West. Bet M25 will be a chocker tomorrow.