Every Week

I love doing surveys. I love the fact that I am lucky enough to be picked now and then to do product tests, where I go and eat stuff and tick how much I liked / disliked it, in the scale of 1 - 10, then finally march out the room with other testers so we get paid.

 

A few months ago, I saw this news informing that some scientist gathered up enough evidences that people who watch romantic comedies tend to have unrealistic idealism towards relationships. Whether it is true or not was irrelevant to myself as my idealism towards romance is so twisted it couldn't possibly come from any romantic "comedy". But what caught my attention was that the same research team is running additional surveys and anyone is welcome to take part, and by taking part you may win some big cash.

 

So I went to the website and signed up. It asks how many hours each week you spent watching TV, in which category, then asks how many hours you have spent watching films in different genres. Then it asks how satisfied you are with your life and yourself, then finally asks if you are in a relationship and how satisfied you are in it.

 

I have been answering these same questions for weeks now;

Sometimes I think I am useless, scale 1 - 10

Sometimes my life seems empty, scale 1 - 10

If I can do over my life I would, scale 1 - 10

 

Every week I tell that I am useless, every week I tell I am not psyched to be living, every week my life is hollow but full of bitterness. Every week these questions tell me that I should get up and turn around, do something. Every week I am re-grazing, in my thoughts on my choice of career, partners and the way I sculpt myself to be the person I want to be, and the answers to them all is that steps I am taking are way too small.

 

My life is about having no expectation, so I don't get disappointed. This approach to life is making me lazy. I stay low, sit tight and tend not to move. Apparently, it's time I need to roll out and jump to something. I need to do this, not by someone kicking me off to roll off. I need to be animate and start rolling, every week. 

Like I Always Said

The new year means the new beginning. My winter sucked, not being helped by this bloody weather - it is very much like living in an ice cube, it's been, without any heat on till 1/1/2009 - and the year was starting out as usual; without me knowing it.

 

Things have been not too bad, actually. The whole thing was touch and go, but all in all balanced out while positive was negated by some incidents and negatives were lightened up by some stuff. The opening of the year was just a chaotic unknown to me.

 

I now have heard from my herald about this year, and it looks somewhat exciting AND rocky.

 

So far I've already learned and was assured that everyone I touch turns into a frog, or caca, as Miss Rodriguez says. There is no good person in this world as far as myself is involved.

 

And this year is going to be tough, work-wise. Not a nice thing to pre-know.

 

Today I've found out that the last batch I did at the end of last year resulted badly, because I've screwed up. Not only I did something that shouldn't have done, I have tactfully aggravated the wrong person; i.e. my bitch boss. I am Jack's deflated party balloon.

 

I think I am going to become some cat that drags in rotten things, just to stink up the life. Might as well enjoy what discovery the feline me would make next. Why don't I just enjoy this deteriorating ride of 2009. Stay tuned, as Mr. Firestein always says.