One in a Million

In our office bathroom, someone keeps putting bog rolls with the end bit facing the wall. The end is therefore pulled out from behind the roll, not the front of it. Well, to be totally neurotic, I don't like this way up as I think it is a bit of a waste of physics forth. But I am not that picky about how bog rolls were hanged in public toilets, and so I leave them as they are.

But, every time I see them I just remember this article I once saw in some gossip magazine. It was how Jennifer Aniston is one of those who insist hanging bog rolls in this way, but never the other way round. According to the article, Jennifer hates her bog rolls' ends to come down from the front, and gets a  bit nutty if she sees one like that. And also 98% of us actually prefer anti-Jennifer way.

It was THE most ridiculous gossip article I have ever came across in my entire life. I mean, who in hell's name went to Aniston&Pitt mansion and came out with both hands in the air, waving for attention, running straight to News Of The World, selling the story for a buck or two? And who would NEED to know how she hangs bog rolls, and what for?? And who did this survey on hanging bog rolls amongst us???

Is it like, we are so insecure about being normal and average, we need to be assured that our way of hanging bog rolls are normal? And that by knowing the fact Jennifer Aniston has bog rolls in her house makes us reassured with the fact that practically everyone in the world goes to bathroom for some business trip? And poor Jen has no friend she can trust because everyone is selling any story they can find in her house?

I have decided that film actors should be left only in big screen.

Tits for Tat, Fag for Hag

He couldn't be happy just with me. He had to have Abi, because Abi was gorgeous and had a nice boy friend. What am I talking about? My fag for hag.

Don't think I ever got over my fag. The way he left me was harsh, and I missed him so much after. Mind you, though, I never fancied him. He was cute, I guess, had an amazing set of eyes, and was the most intelligent person I have ever met to this day. He was a classically trained piano player, and had good taste for art (which didn't always agree with mine,) but was never pretentious about it. He was the greatest dance partner ever, and was ever so sweet with me.

Knew we had our differences, I had problems with certain things about him, he disliked things about me. But it was the greatest relationship ever, while it lasted. It is just, All's Well That Ends Well, if not it remains crappy.

It is so hard to replace him, because, apparently, I am not so fag-hag material, it turned out. I had boyfriends who were closet-cases, though. Well, apparently, apart from the obvious flaw (i.e. I am not pretty enough) this one is too hard acting and attention grabbing by their side, not for the right reasons. Fag hags are there to prove how good taste fags have, and I don't serve that purpose.

If I were to advertise on Lonely Hags, will state the following;

I am fun, outgoing person who enjoy dancing around you like a little bumble bee.

I guarantee that we WILL get attention from that guy you had your eyes on for weeks.

I won't claim for good taste in fashion, so you can totally do over me whenever you like.

I can be used as "an encyclopaedia of camp history".

I have wide shoulder, so we can swap tops.

I have a mini bar to suite your ever-so-changing drinking needs.

Sheer Annoyance

All fairness, I am not the best driver around. After all, I can't even do parallel parking. But I can still bitch.

Drivers I don't want to come across on roads.

Stomper

(Why are you putting brake down SO many, many times, when doing 30mph on 40mph road??)

Silent Breaker

(How on earth can you slow down without braking?? Are your brake lights just broken???)

Black-outer

(Especially when doing right hand lane on motorways at top speed to catch up with the car in front of me. Do you even know what the indicator is???)

New-ish BMW

(What's up with that noisy LCD lights?? Who put bloody LCD on cars???)

Switcher

(You are not even a boyracer, why are you going right to left, and left to right, and right to left again???)

Bonker

(Stop bonking me rear, I can brake and you can crush!!)

and whoever who don't put hand brake in traffic jams, and people who insist on beaming up my eyes at night time.

Carpe Diem

It is all up to you how you see the world.

 

You just got to take advantage of every situation arises.

 

Situations, not People. That's the fine line I can't see...

Pissh Head

Nice to get friends requests in here. Love knowing people read my blog. Don't get much comment but at least am not muttering to myself. (Leave comment and you will make me even happier xx)

Changed the top pic from *my face* to *tons of beer cans* and viewer counter went mice running crazy. People love empty beer cans way more than me..... (Ohhh why, why?)

(Sigh....)(LOL)

I've Noticed You Around

Totally random thoughts...

 

The most shocking thing I learned last year;that economy 7 does not start from 7pm.

 

The most puzzling thing I learned last year;

If you are married but keeping your name, you can be your father's wife, in name only.

The best thing happened to me last year;

I got the best job in the world.

 

The worst thing happened to me last year;

I got the best job in the world so I will either stay stuck there forever or get fired and make a falling from there. Nothing is better than the best.

 

 

3 Most Embarrassing Things Ever Happened to Me;

I made out with a guy and pulled myself out of it before too late, so I can leave with some dignity of a lady, or whatever. He was walking me off the door when he picked up a bra pad and asked me if it was mine. (Of course it was, why would he have a bra pad in his room?)

 

I was talking to a guy who fancied my mate but hated me because he thought I was the reason she wouldn't date him. (And he thought I prevented their chance because I fancied him.) We were OK friends but were not on buddy terms. We were at a Christmas ball, and it was noisy so he had trouble hearing me. A "Touch and Go" song, "Would You" came on, and I said I loved that song, coz it's so funny, it goes like (and recited),

"Would You Go To Bed With Me?"

when he left not a second before shouting,

"NO!!"

to me.

 

I went home for a while and didn't speak English for a month. I came back here and was jet-lagging and tired when my mate's new boyfriend's mate asked how old I was. Instead of saying I was 21, I said,

"Twelve."

They all decided that we (me and my mate) didn't speak English then, and started how us foreign far Easterns likes to date blond, blue eyed boys like themselves, right in front of our noses. 

Mum's the Word

Generalization of me, by me mum.

Chain smoking,

midriff showing,

nose ring baring

bisexual

who has many lovers.

Mum, are you sure you weren't talking about Britney?? I don't smoke, and I was never bisexual (I hate bi.) let alone I ever go to work showing my belly ring (which she doesn't know about.) Never had whole bunch of boys, to lift me up, show me off... 

Afterall, this is the same person who thought I couldn't eat shrimp.

Oh, mom....