One Way to Go

I have been unwell for about a week now. It started as a little sore throat, and gradually became a common cold, took me about 4 days before I was fully blown ill, by then it was Christmas day.

I am not really into Christmas, but am not oppose to it like I used to a few years ago. I hated Christmas because I was always alone. I still am alone and continue to be but I don't hate the holiday, even when I am sick, helpless and alone. Why?

Does anyone remember the episode of Sex and the City where Sam Jones bought her own apartment then got sick, and all her men who she was doing didn't even pop in to aid her unless they get laid? And she became a woman who just wanted to get married? Well, I guess that was sort of me over Christmas up until recently, not that I never wanted to get married, but you get the zest.

But I'm telling you this. Surviving a cold alone, helpless and hopeless is an absolute misery, yet it is a million times better than surviving it with someone who would not want to help you. One of my old, old exes was texting me on the day, asking how I was. This is the same guy who demanded me to pay him his bus fare when I asked him to come and take care of me as I was bed-tied for 3 days with a bad cold. (He never did when he used to phone me up at 1am with urges.) Last year I was seeing someone who told me off for inviting him over then told him that I was coughing a little that day, yelling,
"Why didn't you tell me that before I left my house?? You can pass something!"


Now I am just thankful that I do not have these people in my life, truly so when I am ill! even over the holiday season which is totally depressing to all the singletons and loners out there.

It is nice to hate one less thing.

A pic of jellyfish from Berlin Zoo.
Buoyancy is another way to survive one's life.

Mr. EggBe Says,

"Dee, you are a cxxt."

I am not a big fan of C word, and I can just hate Mr. EggBe for his fondness towards saying the word every minute on the minute, but in this case I really am one.

Ever since the new tax year's started I was feeling a pinch. I felt like I was always short of money. Somehow, somewhat, I was always a little struggling to make the monthly saving each month.

I put it down to the fact I was gone on a holiday to Pacific, or my addiction for eBay-ing every now and then. I have tightened my budget even more than usual, and cut down many aspects of daily expenses, and I was OK in the end.

Urrr, well. I wonder how that was possible, when Inland Revenue actually taxed me 75% more than they should have since April 2010??

My big boss called me into his office and said,
"Dee, I think you got a wrong Tax Code on your payroll. You must contact the tax people."
Apparently, I was on an emergency Tax Code for 6 months, and was not tax exempt for the allowance, instead fully paying Tax all way through.

I am a tight arse, and I love budgeting. I love sitting around analysing my saving plans, and review my expenses. I keep all my bills, receipts, and bank statements for as long as past 10 yrs. Yet I fail to review how much I am getting paid???

I have done very similar, yet even worse thing with my money a while ago, which, luckily I could compensate, but took me 3 yrs, THREE LONG YEARS, for me to even realize that I was on a wrong payment plan. I am a classic see you next tuesday, I am.

In the meantime here is the individual
who lives the motto;
"Ignorance is Bliss"
(Baywee after a bath, double in size.)

Snow! Slow Down!

That was the sign on M4 for past 3 days. And, yes, 1st day (which is 2 days after the actual snow day) the road was frozen and the sign was accurately helpful. But then it all melted away and there wasn't even any left on hard shoulders this morning, but the sign stayed.

Yet my gay boss's flight got cancelled twice now, 2nd one would have been today. He is trying to go and see his long time partner who left first and waiting for him, and poor thing got stuck here, running around sorting his work schedule out.

An inch of snow totally stops trains in this country. It is particularly bad in London, I think. Last winter I had to take trains to go to work in London, because I crashed my car and couldn't get a courtesy car because everyone else was crashing cars, too, so I left about 6.30am, and got in at around noon. All the trains were cancelled or delayed and I sat on freezing cold station bench for a long, long time.

We don't have snow tires, and apparently wearing chains is illegal now. My friend tried to get snow tires last week and was told the earliest he can get them will be April 2011. British tire makers (if there is any) don't do snow tires, so have to have them shipped all the way from Europe, I think.

We are snowed in like never before for this year and the last. Maybe we need to rethink the way we carry on our winters?

A few days before my "slip".

Sunday is Ending

(Well, it has officially ended about 40 min ago.)

I am not a big fan of Sundays. It is probably the dread of Monday overwhelms the possibility of joy for the resting day. I am currently having this to sleep.

Hot Milk, Large Baileys, shot Vodka,
shot Creme de Cacao,
shot scotch, and dash Amaretto.
(Let's call this Sunday Milky Blues.)

I am just trying to sleep, so going to put some totally, even more so than usually, random staff and sign off.

Here is what my desk looks like, in a response to my new friend who put a lovely duck pictures for me. I have tonnes more ducks, in much better picture, but I just wanted you to imagine your picture on my computer, over these.

I like some fowls, immensely. I was once told that I look like many of them. I wish I was this cute.

Please someone buy me this thing from ASDA.
(Considering it is Kalanchoe double, the price £3.50 is
actually not that bad, but is too much for me!)

Christmas is full of traps. They keep throwing these cute birdie things at me in supermarkets. I don't want any Christmas stuff but how could I avoid them??

This drink is not getting me drunk at all, how comes?

My Boss's Obsession

My boss at my pub job, recently acquired a new hobby of tropical fish. He was given a tank for his 50th birthday (bought by all of us, how nice of us,) and started building it right after.

He had advices given from experts, and spent all his spare time and considerable amount of dough on buying fish and all the accessories and such.


This is a snapshot of his tank about 2 months in. You can tell how much staff/fish/effort he's put in in a very short period;

Just for the reference here is my tank, 18 months in;

Mine is subtle, and, well, economical. The sand is cheap pond gravel, and all the plants are from IKEA. Submerged objects are all second hand.

Anyway, so he put more fish each week, and after about 6 weeks I started to tell him that he has too many in there. The rule of fish keeping is, "take your time". I took 6 months before I decided to increase the number of fish to double, and took me further 6 months to do so.

He said to me that he checks water daily and all is well. He changes water every 3 days, and he even use store bought pure water to do so. (OMG, I didn't even know there was such a thing!) Ohh, ok then, I guess I only do water change once a month, so I shan't say no more.

But then he started having problems, though he didn't really lost his fish he always had some problem to report every time I went to work. He reckons the gourami is dying, and then he thinks that Guppy babies are polluting water, then he tells me that plec he bought is not eating enough.

His world now is full of fish problems, and he tells me all with such a joy, not because he enjoys fish's suffering but because he loves running around for his beloved fish, and has to tell me of this.

But, the thing is, he just has such a weird knowledge base on fish keeping, which never fails to stun me. I mean, he once said,
"Fish are gasping for air today, you think I have too much water in my tank?"

And he always buys fish (well his son-in-law gets them for him) and just drops it straight to tank, immediately. Not heard of acclimation?? And he never checks water temperature when changing water. He gets a tank of pure water from store and dumps it in his tank.

And how come he hasn't killed no more than 2 fish so far?

I am just not getting my head around this at all.

We are snowed in today.
Figarion loved running around on
this bloody thing!!

An Exciting New Project... 2

I told them, by bringing up some plans of where I put it and how it will affect them.

They sort of said yes, but I have to do the presentation now. Not powerpoint kind, but  need to demonstrate what it actually be like to have a tank in our office, or outside of the office.

I am going to work with a fish tank tomorrow to do just that. Shall I put cut-out of fish on there to make it more visualistic?

An Exciting New Project... I need Your Support!!

Well, I have this idea, which may just totally come to an halt tomorrow, but for the time being I am excited about it and want to pursue.

OK. Here goes.

I want to set up a fish tank at work.

I have all the stuff for it, such as a tank, pump, foods, etc. And I will pay for the fish. All they (bosses) have to do is to give me 40 x 40 cm space and a word "yes" for me to set it up.

There is no obvious reasons for them to say no. The top guys like fish, and they don't do much work so am sure they are happy to look at fish when bored.

But I think they will say no. They just say no to anything that's even remotely exciting.

OK, so I must go about it carefully. How can I bring it up? What is the best way to go about it?

Any advice is welcome. Wow, I've never done this (Yahoo Answers kind of stuff) in my blog. This is new, too!

Song about Hammersmith

I got stuck in Hammersmith trying to go to Fulham for a movie premier my gay boss gave me a ticket for, spent a good hour in that big round about circling the Walt Disney building. My phone kept picking up Disney wifi and kept asking me to type in employee ID to go online. There was a Thomas the Tank Engine show (Or was it Pixie Lott??) in Apollo and all kids or similar were running around. I gave up queuing when I heard the St. Paul church bell rang for 7pm as the premier was from 6.30pm and my gay boss warned me that there will be no trailers. I then pulled into the car park under A4, spent next hour in my car watching kiddies and traffic go by.... kiddies moving 20 times faster than traffic.


I was sitting there with this tall Disney building in full view, being forced to remember an old acquaintance who was supposed to be working there till last month, on its top floor. Somehow imagining him pulling out his car from snazzy underground car park amongst other prestigious and, or wasteful cars such as X5, or maybe 350Z, to go home, in a headache causing traffic like this, day after day after day. Him doing so was looping in my head like that GOLF TV ad,



No idea why I was thinking of you, you are just a distant memory to me now. God, I miss your BS ranting, well, no, not really. Never mind, the point is that I have too many memories around that part of London, despite the fact I've only been passing through there and never even had one drink in the town. Why do I have to get melancholy by sitting in front of Apollo, is a mystery to me, I have spent far more time in Camden, or Vauxhall.

Then I saw this guy, a really old guy with a cane, with a bag or two from a corner shop. His steps are narrow, so narrow in fact he barely moved when he leaned forward.

I sat there amongst all things in all kinds of motion, this guy was stagnant as if to make the statement to the world that his body was held down to the geographical spot there by the force of the planet, or he was in a different time flow.

On the background the traffic began to sped, against the blurry old guy, or at least it began to appear that way to my eyes.

A young man who was tall and decent looking was observing the guy for a little while from a few yards away, and I thought the youth was debating whether or not to mug the olden who clearly didn't have much on him. The young man then gently approached the old guy, and most likely offered to help him, though I am not sure what he could have done as the old guy was actually quite tall and showed the resemblance of well built man he probably once was, so cannot be piggy backed or anything, and the store bag did not contain much and seemed light, so all could anyone do was to walk along with him at 0.005mph. Well, old man gestured he was ok on his own and the young man walked away. It took further 2 min before the old guy was out of my window frame.

The traffic slowed down hell of a lot after he was gone. I was stuck there for altogether 4 hrs. I got tired of having visions on a loop about someone whom I was meant to have forgotten, very much regretting not to carry a book or magazine, so blared out Bill Evans tunes and pretended that Hammersmith was one big giant movie.

Ring Ring

My phone was ringing,
"oo oo, it's an unknown number"
ring tone. Ohh man, is it Spence again?

urr, no, much worse. Man, it's him. (Makes 3 out of 4, as I predicted. Darn, am so good.)

More to follow (maybe.)

Melvin Udall Says...

My colleague is going a bit loopy lately. I have been saying to my bosses that she is losing it, and nobody took me very seriously. Well, nobody took her seriously, I guess.

When someone with hypochondriac tendencies gets stuck somewhere he/she will come up with something like depression. I am not sure if she actually IS depressed or not, but her behaviour is becoming erratic, and she has been nothing but a selfish, unresponsive, sobbing (!) mess in the past few weeks.

She then self-diagnosed herself to be "depressed" (and menopausal) and started acting like a depressed (and menopausal) person, rather than just a regular nuts. (I think she is nuts, rather than depressed.)

Having gone through a nervous break-down myself (I am a child of Ally McBeal era, and I, too, convinced to take steps to depression when was having difficulties; counseling, therapists, doctors, all that drama, minus pills. Pills are evil.) I was not too sure if she actually was depressed, instead of just sad.

She began protesting me and others while sobbing and gasping, because she feels she was under appreciated and ignored (we had to ignore her as she was distracting us all from carrying on running the business,) and all tears coming down, and she was saying,
"I am going to go over the line, I am so pushed and can't take this any more...!!"

It was rather hysterical. And all I could think was Mr. Udall saying,
"You're a disgrace to depression."

As Good As It Gets (1997)

I may sound a bit cold and unsympathetic, but there are reasons for that, such as;
I just don't think she is actually medically depressed. I don't see any symptoms of it.
She is creating the cause of sadness to herself by not getting out to have life.
She is not making enough effort to progress at her job, and keep blaming others for not getting any promotion.
She was very, very unsupportive when I was having problems at work, and personal life.

This is not a revengeful thinking. I do feel for her in many ways, I mean, life is a bitch, it's not easy to swallow, I know. But you are responsible for your own life. You can ask for help, and you should, rather than making so much scene to make others' working life difficult, which only results in making her life lot tougher.

Here is the source of my anti depressant xxx

Ohh well.

Spencer Texts Me Tonight

This guy lives on my desk in my office.
We've been through together a LOT.

at 9pm, telling me there is 1 day only 75% OFF sale on Men's lambs wool jumpers.

Yes, Marks & Spencer is having a pre Christmas sale tomorrow, people.

I was slightly annoyed about the txt. M&S should not do this to single people, I dare say.

I mean, it's bad enough to receive a txt message at this time of the night when one is single, after not receiving any for almost 2 weeks (mainly because I stopped drunk txting random people; well done! me,) and the phone tells me it's from an unknown number by ringing the special "it's an unknown number" ring tone, which means it could be from any people whose number I have erased, only to find out it's a SALE text about something you only possibly need if you have a partner who is fond of lambswool sweater (i.e. my ex.)

I should make an official complaint to M&S, I think I should. Their marketing people suck, they should REALLY look into singletons' psychology, because that's where the money is. (I mean, look at all these dating sites and porn sites, they ARE the money!)

It's snowing again in South West. Bet M25 will be a chocker tomorrow.

Beaujolais Nouveau 2010, Mystery

It's been 10 days since the release of this year's Beaujolais Nouveau. Since I went to France looking for it (knowing majority of French wouldn't care for this gimmick,) and failed to spot one, I had to come all the way home and purchase this from Waitrose.

Went to Waitrose near my work place on 23/11/2010 (release was 18/11/2010) and was told they sold out. This Waitrose is quite small, and is in the UK's biggest Korean region, that is the only reason why it was sold off, or else people wouldn't give a toss about Beaujo Nu in UK, but I was left without one as the result of picking the wrong store.


I immediately texted my gay boss and asked him to check out his local Waitrose, and his reply was,
"I'll do it for you on 25/11."

I sort of knew that Beaujo-Nu will be in ANY other Waitrose stores for next week or two, so I thanked him and went to LIDL to get some polish sausages, and stumbled on this;

£4.99

Now, I am talking about wines in LIDL. LIDL, I say it again. LIDL. You can't buy wines from them unless you are just looking to get some wine to have along with your TV dinner, or just had a bad day but not much money and wanted to get drunk.

I mean, look at the label, what is this? Beaujolais Nouveau Primeur??? I've noted the label is neither in French nor in English, and I have no idea what that is, but I have never heard of Nouveau labeled as en primeur.

Then I looked at the bottle next to it, oh I wish I took a picture of that, which label read,
"Chablis Premier Cru" and priced for £7. How odd, I thought. Chablis for £7, I could buy it, but 1er Cru?
Then I realized that it also said,
"Appellation Chablis Premier Cru Contrôlée"
Now, if anyone who buys this wine thinking it is genuine is a sucker. And I still bought the Beaujolais, anyway. How could I resist something this dodgy? God only knows what this is, but I guess I just wanted to try it.

I will report it when I taste the darn thing.


Next next day, my gay boss brought me this. He said there were plenty left in the store;

£5.99 @ Waitrose Putney
Good ol' Georges Duboeuf

I will report this one, too.

Everything is Fantabulous in French

Well, so I went to Calais for a day. It only takes 2 hrs drive to Dover, then 1.5 hrs of ferry, then 5 min to anywhere in the town in Calais. Both Dover and Calais ports are relaxed place, I can arrive 15 min before the boarding time to get on the ferry, no X-ray-all-your-possessions (including your dog) security checks to go through, it's a different world to the whole aviation side of today. (They still do tight passport control, though.)


There is no WiFi on board, you may or may not get British or French phone signal depending on the location, but for some time you are actually out of all reaches, and that's surreal to me.

I love the idea that I spend merely 25 quid or so, and 4 hrs later am driving in a different continent. I guess it's more appealing to people who grew up in islands, like myself.

I love the food, there, too. It costs far, far less, yet they simply have better fish. Wines are not cheap in restaurants, but are superb. On top of it all, they never look at me funny when I dine alone (or maybe they are saying things in French but at least I don't have to have "Oh, are you dining alone then, can I join you?" chit-chat with waiters because I don't speak a word of French.)

I was fished to death, and I had my first ever Sancerre in the restaurant called "Oh Mouettes!". I had a fish platter to start with, followed by a Dover sole, then some house cakes. All great. Good service. Shame about looping background music, which I think was the same CD played in the last restaurant I ate in Calais. (It has instrumental versions of ABBA, Queen, and stuff like that, probably to be tourist friendly.)

The Sancerre was very, very nice. I think I prefer this to Chablis when having shellfish.

Then I went to wine supermarkets (plural!) and bought wines to stock up. The only bad thing about the day was when I was loading up my car with bottles after bottles this old Brit guy snuck up to me, and said,
"Are you taking all these wines back to Thailand then?"

I ignored him, so he went on asking where I was from,
"Korea? Philippines?"

He just kept naming all the Asian countries he could remember. I turned around and said,
"Hey, man, I'm American. Whatya wanna know?"

He left without saying a word. (I am not American, BTW, used to live in MD for a while though.) I hate people like that, they think they are getting clever by categorizing people by their looks, showing what they think is the friendliness towards foreigners, and all they are becoming is the sear ignorance. I have been in this country for half of my life, and I am as naturalized as your favourite takeaways, and yet you have to label me as something other than just a person. I am getting over this after so many years of experiencing their reception against us immigrants, but I do still get ticked off time to time.

Anyway, yeah, that bit was just 2 minutes out of one long lovely day. It by no means ruined my day. It's just a bad timing, that was, because I was partly doing this trip to wipe off memories I made there with my ex, who came with me on day trips twice, and he was exactly the same way about foreigners. He thought he was being generous and broad minded, and all these time he was excluding me as an outsider and did not accept me into his country, which in my eyes was offensive and f-in cretinous.

I walked down the street alone where me and him took our first picture together, went pass the restaurant we dined, got lost alone on the same road we got lost, and thought a bit about him. We had fantastic trips together, but days actually contain some seriously bad memories about him. Something he said, or did, I still can't shake off the disbelief of experiencing them on those days. Although I was a little bit sad, and was angry at those and other memories of him, the conclusion of it all was that "Thank God, he is gone." And I carried on having a nice day.

Will definitely do it again, by myself, in a few months. The end.

I Won!

I won lottery!!! Yey!!! £5!!! Am riiiiich!!!

Just got back from France with bottles and bottles of wine. More to follow...

I Love a News Like This on Fridays

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/SGE6AI0BY.htm

Peach the Chihuahua: Japan's newest police dog

19 Nov 2010 09:52:55 GMT

Source: Reuters

TOKYO, Nov 19 (Reuters Life!) - Meet Japan's newest police dog -- all 3 kg (6.6 lb) of her. In what is a first for Japan and perhaps the world, a long-haired Chihuahua named "Momo" -- "Peach" -- passed exams to become a police dog in the western Japanese prefecture of Nara. The brown-and-white, perky Momo was one of 32 successful candidates out of 70 dogs, passing a search and rescue test by finding a person in five minutes after merely sniffing their cap. "Any breed of dog can be entered to become a police dog in the search and rescue division," said a Nara police spokesman. But he admitted that news a Chihuahua had been entered may still come as a surprise to many. "It's quite unusual," he said. Television footage showed the 7-year-old Momo bounding across grass or sitting proudly, long hair blowing in the breeze. Momo will be used for rescue operations in case of disasters such as earthquakes, in the hope that she may be able to squeeze her tiny frame into places too narrow for more usual rescue dogs, which tend to be German Shepherds. The public response to the news of Momo's selection took police by surprise, the spokesman said, adding: "The phone's been ringing all afternoon."

I am sure Fogarion can be trained up to this, if I really tried.
At the moment his special skills are;

Spring clean the house by demembraning things in, whether it was approved by Dee or not.
Keep Dee warm by using hyper thermal belly.

He is such a kickass, isn't he?

Happy Birthday Figazilla

Today's Figarion's 1st Birthday. This morning he ate my external floppy drive. That is all I have to say about that.

It has been quite foggy in the area I exist. This is what it looks like on my way to work.

If this doesn't tickle your Goth-y heart, then I don't know what does!?

And this guy is back, again this year. Looking pretty mighty in the foggy veil, eh?

HUG me.
(This guy belongs to this huge garden centre near motorway junction.)

 Not making it on time to work with all the Fig and fog. Better get off to sleep now...

Hurrraay, a Duck Card!!

My good friend Steve sent me a card, which arrived a day late but never too late. This is the best card, EVER!!

See, it's the picture of one of my
duck collections!!!!

 Thank you Stevo, love you, man.

Big Chief

today's wine;
Mission St. Vincent
Bordeaux Blanc
2006

I put on "Meet the Parents" while looking through piles of lists of wines all day,
and ended up buying the Lilly Allen's first album.

Can you figure out how those are related?

Sometimes I think I have adult ADDH but in this case it's quite logical.

And all wines are picked now.

I am Older Today

And it's pissing down rain. Happy to announce I am not clinically depressed, and after making a call to my folks I will just forget that today signifies anything.

Having said that I just had to do something, I had to do something for the occasion, and as work commitment prevented for me to go away this weekend, plus Beaujolais Nouveau release is actually next week, am thinking of going to France in a week or so. When I do I stock up my wine, which are just everyday wine, nothing fancy.

Have emailed the store and was told to spend certain amount so they can give me discount.

That's all OK, except, I can't actually buy that many wines or the custom guy at the Dover would pull me to the side and confiscate my goods!

Let's say I have to buy £400 worth of goods to get £40 free stock, then I have to buy about 145 bottles of wine (£2.75/bottle). The custom's guideline indicates one can import 146 bottles of wine (110L). With their free stock I am over the limit! So do I give up on discount and just get 144 bottles?

Yet it's a million miles towards this still.
Maybe one day...

That sounded beyond absurd to me. Why do I chuck the opportunity of having freebie? Must be a way around.

So here is the solution. I buy something more expensive, and reduce the bottle count.

Let's say I but £20/bottle, how many can I get in £400? See, that's what I have to do.

So I told the store that I get 142bottles of cheap wine, and 2 (wow!) of VERY expensive (like £30 a bottle) wine, inc. the free stock.

They said the ones I wanted are not in stock. So now I have to find alternatives. I can't believe that I am buying wines and they have to be well over £15 a bottle, and I have never bought any wine priced over £12 even for my project. This is like being in a parallel universe. Unreal. Surreal. SO much fun! Ooo la la la la la....

Take Me Home Sweet Home

I am stuck at work because of an accident on my route home (am not going to voluntarily sit in traffic when I can sit at desk eating this chicken rice I just heated up in microwave.)

It's 7.30pm and am waiting now for 2 hrs! Getting bored here.

Jam Cam Says Stay

One of the Four

...has got in touch with me today. I am sure 2 more out of the four will eventually do the same, I am making the prediction here and I am usually correct.

Today's one just said it's awkward that I was contacting him. Awkward. He sounded happy that I am going outside of his sight. Can't blame him, we have too much thing going between us, it's almost like the force of the gravity, I can't resist the person, my mind goes blank, and unfortunately he responds, we can't help but to collide, and it's a miracle that no serious injury has happened so far. It's not love, it's not lust, it's not respect, it certainly not friendship. It just is, just is.

Today was the Day

Camera adds 10 pounds of cuteness.

that I have erased 4 numbers from my phone. I hope that helps me to start a new chapter, because it feels like I am dragging on something that I should have dropped ages ago.

I know these people once liked me, liked me enough to stay in touch for years. I know that. But that's not a good enough reason for me to cling onto them. It does no good to either of us.

Bye bye.

Anchovy

I gave in and went to a jumbo TESCO to get a bottle of anchovy sauce.

They stopped selling them!!! (orz)

OMG!! I am so upset, my life depends on it!! (yenta)

My google search showed that TESCO now sells anchovy puree, so I went about looking for it after definitely not finding the fish sauce.

"Ooo-kay, if I were a tube of fish paste, where would I be....?"
(This is the typical way my brain works, if you haven't noticed yet.)

Anyway, so I got myself tubes of fish meat now. No more tossing and turning over a year old fish sauce.

today's Wayee. Awwwwww xxxx

Joy

Clock's changed and I am ecstatic, because,

Economy 7 starts an hour early now.

I can cook, shower, run washing machine and burn DVD from 22.30, instead of 23.30. Ahhh, what a joy, what a great news!

I must have written this before, but it was one of the biggest shock of my life when I have discovered that Economy 7 does not start at 7pm. I used to come home from college and sat in the dark in my flat, and at 7pm on the dot turned everything on, sprang into life, so to speak.

So it was life altering when I found out that it actually started at after 10pm, literally. Obviously I could not sit in the dark till that late, so I only put off doing certain things, which I still do to this day.

During the Summer time I must do the following between 22.30 and 01.30;

Shower,

Dry my hair,

Cook next day's lunch,

Set washing machine on timer, or actually run it,

Start drinking,

Get drunk,

Got drunk,

Sleep.

It is actually pretty hard to cram all those in short 3 hours, if fails I woke up late. (Occasionally, wink wink.)

I do this not because I have no life (which is true at times). Did this regardless of my life condition, and because I was, initially, pissed off with the Southern Electric who over charged me for electricity for almost a year and didn't pay me back the credit until I asked.

Well, a habitual life is good, am telling you.

and For the Record

Before this

or this,

This is what Figarion has achieved,

and he actually further ruined the rest of the black bit a few days later, of which I could not possibly bring myself to take a picture while screaming in dismay and despair.

I do love this pic though, with Wayee sitting in the mess looking as if she is meditating.

This Month I am Mostly Listening...

Woke up this morning looking like this > > >

booo booo

well, like someone else. (The only reason for putting a full frontal pic here as I am unrecognisable in this.) My left cheek is completely swollen up after a surgery I had yesterday, and my lip and nose also looked, well, fatter. When I turned up at work people kept saying that I looked as though I was holding a candy in my mouth. I kept saying I was pretending to be a Marlon Brando for the day.

Came home feeling pretty sorry for myself (or just in a mood to spoil myself) I got about buying this month's CDs.



I am currently re-discovering Jazz musicians of old and new, mostly modern jazz of old age, and have recently decided to buy at least 2 jazz CDs a month. Today I doubled the dosage just because I woke up with a huge cheek (and that nurse at the clinic -not the dentist- told me that I was not looking after myself well -I did that all for love and I was not in the mood to defend my ex.)

today's Figarion
(this time he is in the middle)

This month I am mostly listening to.... Antonio Farao!!
Finally, after about 1 yr of looking for his CD that's affordable!!
He is sear genius, and I am determined to go see him next year.

Fish Sauce

WANTED

I have discovered this anchovy sauce a while ago, and also later heard from Neapolitan tour guide that this is THE stuff real Italians use to give that kick to vongole bianco. I was addicted to volngole pastas so decided to buy this potentially very smelly, distinctive condiment, but the only thing was that the sauce was only available at big TESCOs and I never went to TESCO.

SO I have asked a friend to get it for me, but he wasn't firmly promising to do so. And 2 days later I was made to go to a big TESCO at work for some reason, (probably to get them stupid designers eco bags) so I bought the fish sauce then, only to receive a text from mate saying he got one for me the same day.

Yes, yes, it's a boring story, and it gets even more so.

It took me almost 2 years to finish a bottle after then, and now I need the other bottle but I CAN'T FIND IT anywhere!!

I have lost a bottle of fish sauce somewhere in my house! Where? Where on earth?? Am not going to buy another because I have one which was waiting to be opened for 2 yrs, but I need one!!!


I was doing some detective work, and thought,
"Mmm, if I were to hide a bottle of fish sauce, where do I put it?"
and,
"If I were a bottle of fish sauce, where do I go?"

My, am going mental looking for a bottle of anchovy sauce, it's been days! These things really bring out the obsessive side of me, that's so scary. Anchovy sauce, please stand up.

B-Day

Still can't decide what to do for my day of birth. My boss told me I can't have some hours leave in order for me to hop on ferry to France etc. I guess it's still possible to go to France for overnight, certainly done that before, but it's too much money and hassle and not sure it will be enjoyable.

Yet I can't take a short trip in the country. I will be checking my mobile every hour to see if nobody has called. I will be doing the same with my email inbox even in France, but at least my money conscious mind will switch my phone off the entire time if I was out of the UK.

The more I think about it the more I am declining towards just to get ready to sit tight and tolerate the day, in my own place. That's what I have been doing for the past 15 yrs or so, and it is proven to be the cheapest option. Well, any suggestion is welcomed here, am stuck.

Maybe, if I am prepared for the sadness, I might be pleasantly surprised to see the lack of it, and even meet the level of serenity from temporally dementia. Who knows? I mean, why am I even assuming that I will be clinically depressed for just one day when am totally fine now? (This is me, prepping myself with positiveness that's built up from air!)

Today's Figarion

What is Today's Special?

My lunch, Tuesday. How could I not have a soup called "Baxxter"?? (H.P., you are the man!)

My night out Tuesday and its wine list (what a great white it was, so much more than expected for a house white by the glass - Cuvée Le Bosq Blanc.) accompanied by Jazz piano played by Joe Bickerstaff. He was marvelous.

.... and today's Customer's Left Over. (about 2/5 of the bottle.)
What a good night. Beaujolais-Lancie, Louis Latour, 2008. Sold for £16.50/bottle at my pub.

Appeal

Went to have a long lunch with a married man.

Don't ask me why but married men love me. They all deny having any feelings for me, and I never stop pretending we belong to opposite sexes, and so we carry on as friends, even though I never believe in friendship between men and women, and they can't sop bitching about their wives.

Well, basically, I never touch them. NEVER.

So he was buying me lunch (which turned into 3 course with a glass of wine at 2pm) and we were talking about my work place. He basically didn't know pretty much all of my bosses are gay, and that all the girls there are 30 something, rather than 20 something like he thought.

"What was her name again, the girl who is sitting in front of you?"
He asked. I told him the name, knowing he would not remember it if I ask 5 min later.
"She is so shy, does she have many friends?"

I said she has hundreds, but not a single English friend.
"She doesn't even speak much English after so many years of being here."
I went on. And he followed,
"and I take it she doesn't have a boy friend?"

"How did you know? How can you tell?"
I was asking, curiously, as this came from a man who is in a rock solid marriage for 35 yrs or so, plus the girl in the topic is rather attractive, and is very quiet when conversing in English, and I know many men who like the type (quiet, exotic, appears to be obedient.)

"One can tell."
He replied. How, I asked again.
"Well, she just doesn't have sex appeal."

He said this like he was conversing back in the 60s'. I haven't heard the phrase in a while, and apparently my colleague lacks it. This was a new sensation to me. Is it in the same category as her being not sexy? not attractive? what is that exactly, sex appeal?

"You can be attractive without having sex appeal. You simply got to have it for men to notice you."
He said, quietly, with the suave mannerism he always had.
"Oh, in that case I don't think I've got it."
I laughed, sipping the Sauvignon Blanc.
"Oh, you got stacks of it!!"
He said, almost triumphantly. What a nice guy.

Brighton, Aug 2009

Today's note:
Great news about Pre-Nup!

That is Probably the Saddest Thing I've Evere Heard

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I hate my birthday, not because I am getting old, but because it is the day one is allowed to act the way one wishes because all the friends, family and any people around must accept that for a day, yet I always come to the realization that I don't have those people to let me do just that.

I have had a series of bad birthdays, from lacking friends' support, and love. I mean, it's not just about people not doing anything for the day, but usually people engage me for the day because they said they are doing something for me, or with me, only to let me down.

It feels wrong to make them do something, or organise it myself when they clearly don't care enough to do stuff for me, so I just don't let people know when my birthday is any more. It is still pretty sad when the day comes and you are finding yourself unable not to remembering it is the anniversary of your birth, and nobody is thanking that you were born.

This year is particularly bad because I had someone celebrate it with me last year, and it actually was one of the nicest days I have ever had, but now just phasing into a bitter memory which I am not yet prepared to treasure as a fond moment.

OK, so I have a problem about my birthday, and I am dealing with it, yes. That's not what this entry is about, I mean, that's not the saddest thing ever. I am quite cheerful till the day comes, and I will be after the day ends, I am sure on that.

So I spent whole day today, not doing house chores nor dog duties, looking up options to get away or do anything for the day to occupy me, stop me from self-pitying.

I looked up city breaks to Paris and Rome. I looked up a pampering weekend trip to North. I looked up a few things. They all cost too much, basically, because of my dogs. Their boarding fee cost as much, if not more, as my hotel + flight.

Maybe I should just take them with me to somewhere quiet where I can just let them run around, I thought.

O, why not. As long as I take them to somewhere I don't have to worry about them peeing on carpet, then it'll be relaxing enough for me. I am sure there are cottages I can rent for weekend.

So I looked that up and came across this;

"Singles Holiday including activities. Take your dog with you."

Well, never. Am not THAT sad. I refuse to go to Singles Holidays, and refuse to go anywhere with my dogs announcing the world that I am single, and looking, even if I was looking, which am not.

Urrgh, I don't know any more. What should I do, or should I just sit in my house with all the phones switched off so I know that nobody is calling?

Today's Figarion

I came home tonight and found this on my floor.

There was a bit of a soft patch there for a while, and this morning my heel went through it, but that didn't pierce a hole.

Then I came to this. My dog now eats floor. Who EATS floor??????

October Sky and Sleeping with the Enemies

Well, as the title suggests;

One good thing about getting the weather chilled out is that we get clearer air, so we are thrown this kind of blue all over us. As someone who is very fond of spending time in cars, driving, this is just kind of the sky which makes me just happy, despite all the shitty things that bother me, however big or small those are.


In the mean time, I had some odd guests in my bed room.

 

No, not those, these live there all the time.

No matter how lame it sounds, I really am PC, and I have even joined "I Hate Mac" web forum. But my bosses are Mac worshippers, who keeps giving me their old Macs. And I am not kind of a person who can say "No" to freebies. They are old so I can't even re-sell them.

cables, cables, cables

This is my bed room a while ago, trying to transfer all the files before getting rid of one computer. (In all I had 4 computers in the room for a few nights, 5 in total in my flat.) I do not make a living by being SE or anything. I mean, look at my 40p mouse pad from Ikea with roller-balled mouse (non-optic one! Who has got them still?) with ducks around them, do I look like someone who can use so many computers at once for some clever computery purposes? (Am too pretty for that! ;p)

I think I have 6 key boards...

Overdressing as Usual

the dress

The boss's birthday party was fun. I showed up in a fabulous tribe dress, which belongs to my country's neighbouring continent, just because they can't tell the difference. Had most of the drinks bought by people who usually tip me, (thank you, you guys are so nice, and I mean it) and had a fun time.

I always overdress, I am known for this. Maybe one day I will be noticed for this bad habit.

"You know that person who always shows up alone in OTT outfit?"
"Yeah, I bet she will make a fab party decoration. Let's invite her to our reception!"

Anyway, the reason I posted the last entry is, because I was told that I was being a baby for complaining about my boss's behaviour and I should just take whatever he gives, since it is a job and I am getting paid for it.

Like I said, I have 2 jobs, one of which I take whatever given just because I get paid. They treat me like a second class citizen, and they say whatever they feel like, which revert within a day or two, and have I ever complained? Not really. Some girls there said I am such a push-over. Well, maybe I am. But when you work in a skill-less job, which a 14 yrs old can hack, then getting yelled at can be life-endingly demeaning, or just meaningless whatsoever. I defined latter. I get paid to be yelled at, because their pay get me my next car in 3 yrs time, or a new bathroom in next 2 yrs.

This leaves me with one job where I actually do something with learned skills. This is where my opinion matters because I am making money for the company, and they are not treating me appropriately for my performances. Yes, it is a job but they have no right to make my life difficult when I am working for such a low wages without making some points to them that they are in wrong, employment law wise.

So I said what I thought, and one boss did not like it. Knowing then than ever what an idiot he really, truly is, I then turned into a complete brown noser because I knew I was still in right therefore, in short, he is a loser and I am the winner.

I don't really look at my life evaluating who wins and who loses, life is much more complicated, but this is a good way to reason with your own pride. Howelse one can survive?

I Can Do This Forever

I had a massive fight with my boss the other day, although I was merely explaining what is needed to be done and he was upset because he could only think that I was going against him.

Didn't quite understand why he was so angry, as the matter was so minuscule and we have argued about bigger things before for the longer duration and he didn't take those that far.

Well, I knew I had to suck up to him, ESPECIALLY since I was up for a promotion in next coming month or two, though he should not be directly deciding my position as the company's big boss has already decided it's about time I go up a notch.

So I asked my boss to have a little chat with me, and I apologized like my life depended on it, didn't say a word back when he still went on how badly I acted, and I was all sympathetic about how tough the economy is on him personally as a manager, and I was suggesting that I do extra work for him so he will manage our team more smoothly.

My boss is really not the best boss in the world. He is micro-managing us for no reason other than he likes to be in charge of everything, and he slacks on many things but would not let us do any of those slacking. He does not like to be negotiated, and he is rather clueless on what is actually happening in the team.

I am so kidding when I say I can do this forever, I hate my boss, I hate some things he did to me in the past, I think he is heartless, selfish, power driven bastard. But if me sucking up actually makes my life better with extra buck or two in my purse each week, then , yeah, I can do that. I can totally do that for my babies who chew everything in my place and beyond.

I am a bread-winner. (Say this like Mr. Firestein in "Torch Song Trilogy" when he announces that he is an entertainer.)

Happy Birthday Nicolas.

Here is what I bought for my the other boss. (I have 2 jobs.) This boss is alright, really.

There was This Big Guy

Went to work at a pub, there goes a son of my boss. He says he is waiting for some people because he was in there the night before, made some inappropriate sexual comments on a girl behind the bar. The girl happened to be 17, and told parents, who have phoned up and now coming to have a "chat".

My bosses' another son, who was in charge of the place the night before, was also there, telling his brother to behave and apologize.

Then the parents walk in, 15 min later than expected, grabbed one of the guys, yelling, while his misses shouting that he is a sexual predator. The guy is big, and he is now really going for it as his little girl was verbally raped.

Well, OK, my boss's son is an idiot, he made a pass on me before while his wife was sleeping upstairs. He is up to no good, and the whole family of his is doomed to no good end, and he drinks a lot. But, there are loads of 30 something shagging 17 yrs old and is considered to be "you are sick but also are lucky son-of-a-gun" purely because the society expects 17 yrs old to be able to say yes or no when the offer is made. I think it is getting almost impossible to find 17 yrs virgin around there anyway.

Plus, if you are letting your 17 yrs old daughter work in a pub, then don't expect it to be all clean and sweet, it's a pub and not a church. And it certainly isn't a school where her boss makes sure that no-body makes sexual advances on her.

OK, it's kinda nice and macho that her daddy will get any bad bud around her, but it is wrong that he ended up hitting a wrong brother. All this time I was talking to this family with 2 babies in their arms, trying to smooth the air out so they'd be not uncomfortable.

And, yes, my boss's son is an idiot, no doubt about that.

My boss's dogs, who happened to be super lovely xx

He was Gorgeous

Tony Curtis dying is the end of era to me. I think he actually was the last of of the lot. Man, Anne Miller exited so quietly, and now Tony Curtis. He was a character. And he was so gorgeous. Thank you, and bless.

My Alarm Went Off on M4

This morning, I still don't know how, I got up and went to work 1 hr early. Mind you, I am ALWAYS late for work. I mean, ALWAYS. Hate getting up in the morning, and would rather be demoted to gain more bed time, that's me.

I got up this morning, looked at the clock, thinking,
"Darn, am gonna be late again, I'd better leave the house in 5 min."
and ended up leaving the place in 15 min as you do.

putting the feet up

I got onto M4 and there was a massive que, as it does, and I thought,
"Man, I'd better text work and let them know I WILL be late."

I was about to reach over to my mobile when the alarm started to ring, and yes, that was my,
"Get your arse outta bed now or you won't make it to work on time"
alarm.

WHat??????

I then qued up for near 40 min on motorways, and made it to work well on time. Was exhausted by then.

I must be losing my mind to be making it on time to work.