I Rather Live Like Jack and Sally

My boss taps my shoulder and keeps saying,
 

"Hey, Christmas is coming, isn't it?"

He also keeps saying that his birthday is coming up so he will be pre-promoting it as well as to make sure the entire week will be dedicated to his birthday and fun will be had by every member of the office.

This guy is in love with all the festivities, I bet if I crack his skull open there is a mini mardi gras going around in a loop.

As you live a few years in your life you happen to realize that there are so many people having festive day in each day. In fact, I don't think there is a single day went by without anyone's birthday since the communion of Adam and Steve. Everyone says happy birthday every day and nobody will say that to you is pretty pissing.

Ohh, I thank heaven for people who sent me birthday wishes on my non-birthday (like I put my real birthday on a website; some of my family members don't know my real birthday!) and I so wish we were that close so that they can contribute in my faith in humanity instead of me soaking myself in bitterness in actual birthday spent alone. But I don't know thee all that well. IRL people forget my day and/or they can't/don't want to afford me. Fair 'nuff, really.

Hellx xhere

Who needs minced pies and Christmas puddings in September??? Who???

Know Where You Are

When you are somehow trapped doing customer service, even though you are well aware that you are not so much of a people person, and you don't have sexy enough voice to make 'em come (which is important if you want to sooth irritable people or want to sell stuff,) you got to do something to get by.

 

I've mentioned this before, but I am REALLY good at making complaints over the phone. You get screwed enough times then you will learn how to deal with 'em. At the same time, you are getting better at receiving complaints.

 

I am no claimer, I just like making points so I can get the wasted money back. I don't do it to make people uncomfortable. I really have no respect for people who calls up call centres and spray off their frustration because nobody is giving them enough hugs. Also, I really hate unprofessional people who are allowed to take calls when they have no motivation to listen to what customers are saying.

 

So this guy calls up and basically started giving piece of his mind to each and every one of us, who, unfortunately took turn to take his calls. He was REALLY upset because he made up a story to get away with the payment, and we dug up the counter evidence which I posted him to prove OUR point. He was poking corners of our terms and conditions, and started on how badly spoken we are, because, apparently we didn't say what he wanted to hear.

 

This guy was silly, because he ended up paying extra money by doing this (I looked back his record and saw an error in price) and he wanted to yell more. In the end, he was making us REALLY uncomfortable by saying,

 

"Well, so what are you going to do if the post did not arrive by Wednesday. Do you know what day it is? What day is it, tell me what day it is today!!!"

 

I took a little breath in, and said,

 

"If you are in Reading, we can deliver it to you today."

 

"WHat do you mean... what? Why today, if in Reading?"

 

"Well, sir, I do happened to live near by."

 

He went REALLY quiet. I could almost hear him think.

 

"It is that building with gate, isn't it, sir?"

 

Now he was freaking out.

 

"Are you actually saying that you commute to London every day?"

 

"(Well, that is none of your weegie board, but) Yes, I do."

 

Now the guy was almost mumbling.

 

"Ohh, ok, then. Well, post is actually outside so you can just post it. Thanks."

 

Oh, you are very welcome. And remember that we hold your address, phone numbers, work address AND the credit card detail.

 

That reminded me of the time when I called up Samaritan and the girl who answered the phone told me that she knew where I lived.

Things That Are Always in My Fridge

Films;

They take up most of my salad crisper and much of my ice making tray. Numbers of them never decrease.

 

Seeds;

They take up rest of my salad crisper. Can't get rid of them, can I?

 

Condiments;

Obviously. But I've got to tell that I keep my salad cream in my fridge. Others are just usual, ketchup, mayo, sweet chilli... NOT Worcestershire nor mustard.

 

My eye gel;

It did cost 7 quid, so better last longer, and it feels better when it's cold.

 

Coke;

Liquid kind. Has to be Pepsi Max. I am not giving in to anything else.

 

There are numerous veggies come and go but they seem to hold permanent residency there anyway.

 

Beers;

Last but not least. Carlsberg is the only one doesn't give me headache.

Smell Ya Later, MUCH Later

Am I seeing perfume ads on TV or am I being paranoia???

I have been trying to refuse to believe it for about a months now, but they are definitely increasing in numbers.

It's getting close to bloody Christmas.
Who on earth is allowed to make me depressed and suicidal in SEPTEMBER??? Can I not be let go carefree until Halloween is over? Since we haven't got Thanks Giving, we should at least be allowed to have freedom of not thinking about "the highest rate of suicide incidents" season till it is ACTUALLY cold out??

I will screech when I see first frozen turkey ad. Ya'll fools, buy pressy, loads of 'em, and make one, someone happy. In that way they will hopefully stop TV ads from airing...