I am barkin' and hoppin' / Current mood: distressed

Wonderful thing, the internet.

I found my arch enemy in Australia. I hate this woman with all my guts, she is evil and she is one lucky mo-fo who always had everything. Oh, yeah, I was jealous, but I started hating her only after she went extra mile to put me down and made me feel so worthless. She was my best friend and kept me around her so all her friends look at both of us and tell her she was smarter and prettier. She never let me win in any aspects. (Otherwise I would be just happy being jealous of this highly over-rated slut.)

 

That put-down thing caused a permanent damage on me, such as I was totally convinced that I will never be as good as her.

 

When I lost weight I felt like I was just trying to be her,

when I changed my hair I felt like I was trying to be her,

whenever I bought a green shirts I felt like I was trying to be her,

and it bothered me enormously that I was so jealous and completely defeated by her existence instead of being OK about me not being her.

And I found her in Australia, after 6 long years, and,

 

Oh, why, oh, why, was she working for my company in Melbourne branch? Of all gazillions companies, she had to pick MY company???

 

It just looks like OUR lives are totally parallel. We worked for same company, we live alone with dogs, we have same hair style, and we are both far away from home.

 

This is worse than losing to her. Why are we same???? Why, why???

 

All of sudden my life has no meaning, because all of sudden I am living someone else's life. What the hell am I doing here?

 

Am I going to join a pyramid scheme like she did and send the link to all my friends? Am I going to lose it like she did?

 

I need to find my life back.