Flappin' Hell

I got up this morning and found my Figarion (my new dog) destroyed the dog flap which did cost me fortune to install wen I replaced the back door some years back. Figarion has a habit of getting himself out of the house when he feels like it even when something is in front of the flap, blocking him from getting out. In many cases it's my baby Wayee (my original dog)  who is poking her head through the flap, looking out for any intruders in our garden. And Figarion just stretches himself between Wayee and the flap (which is, BTW, the size of a small hankie,) and gets out regardless, with Wayee's head locked in this tangle! This force must have done the damage, somehow, because now the hinge of the flap is broken off. Or maybe he just dashed it through too many time, like he is doing right now. (O, look at him go!) Anyway, it's broken and I have a hole in my back door. The flap was all functioning ok for over 7 yrs, and now this??

My, I might as well restart the blog by journaling what Figarion has broke and ate every day. It sure will make an interesting read, and sure to comfort other dog owners who have mischievous dogs, because mine certainly is more than a handful.

Wow, apparently I can just buy the replacement flaps, instead of replacing the whole thing. I'd better stock up then. It feels like the beginning of the endless game, me trapped in this vicious cycle of keep replacing the flap for, like, ever. My ball of joy Figarion will keep dominating my financial plans...

(Names of dogs have been altered for the purpose of cuteness.)

Wayee Baby xx

Figarion (Figs)

Might as Well

State that I go quiet when I am mega sad. Well, having said that I was blogging a lot last time I was this down. Well, not down, am chirpy, but stalled in thoughts.

I have wasted a large piece of chunk from my heart on someone again. One never learns and it is getting old, mate.

Decided to restart my blog here as MySpace, in my opinion, is a dying community. I want my blog to live, with me. Got to move on.

It sucks to be a greeting card

I was at Tesco, standing in front of Valentine's card section, out of curiosity more than anything, and thought to myself,

"Wow, look at them all LOVEs."

When growing up, Valentine's was never for done-deal couples, but for hopeful romantics. It was the time to fess your fancy up to some dudes (never for girls, but that's just my country,) with chocolates. So saying "I love you," up front was just a tad too much in my eyes. I mean, I would run for my life if some girl comes up to me with "You are the one I love with all my heart.".

Besides, what is the couples who are not officially declaring their love to each other yet? What if they are at, "Does he love me... or this is just a fling?" kind of place, and there are only cards shouting love? There should be cards / gifts just saying,

"I wuv ur cute eyes and firm hiney xxx"

and,

"I think u r delish xx"

so on. Why not? Why does it have to be LOVE or nothing? That's just silly.

Well, I did find some non-love-announcing cards, but they were not near enough of them.

Come on, let us have some fun. After all this is the day all cuteness overload is commercially allowed and accepted.

Opinionated

I really am extremely opinionated, and that is exactly why I am doing things like blogging and that, and that is exactly why I refused to join up Facebook community. Oh, and that Facebook is lame. (I don't like to be found.)

I still am blogging. Am just pausing. I know that nobody is reading this, but this should keep going.

Till then x

People Eat When They Are Sad, Don't They?

I like the idea of going to the cinema late at night. I like it because the American style giant cinema which holds about 8 different theatres is usually empty, and it is surprisingly free of drunk and rude people who'd be there to hustle someone, or to have sex, or to throw up, or to make noise for their own amusement. Like it even more when I get special discount and I am occupying the theatre with just a handful well behaved, mature people, for £4.25.

 

Went to see a Meryl Streep film because I just wanted something cheerful, and she kinda fitted my mood. The film was OK, typical Nora Ephron, I'd say, could have been better. The film was sensational in the way that everyone in it kept speaking mouthful. And they smoked non-stop. But what was good was that I was actually on my own in the room tonight. I was in absolute solitary for 123 minutes. With a bottle of Pepsi Max wit 2 shots of Teachers. Heaven. Absolute heaven.

 

I sat in the best seat in the house, dead centre of the room, spreading my stuff and stretching legs out. Laughing out loud, gasping and giggling without a care in the world. This is what a solo person would do when one has 4.25quid.

 

When I left the theatre in the mid ending roll they even stopped rolling the film. They were running the film just for me, that's why.

 

I am doing OK, and I enjoyed the night. It is my time, and that is that. LOVE being here at this very moment. Don't think I am lying.

Black

This is totally random. I am getting drunk, and am BLUE.

Today I was looking, mighty miserable at the pub, and the Scottish chef said,

"What is the look? Have a sausage. Here. It's good, it's Scottish."

and the sausage never tasted better.

 

It sucks to be in a state like this, yet it's GREAT to know that people do care about you however miniscule the care was.

 

The sausage kind of made my morning. I was serving a large glass of sauvignon blanc to this, very hetero looking guy, who was sitting with, again, very hetero looking guy who only drunk G+T. We had some nice chat about Marlborough sauvignon blanc, before he settled his bill and pulled out this odd looking card. He knew his sav bla.

 

"Is Amex alright?"

He said, and of course it was, it's Ascot for crying out loud.

 

Why is this card so HEAVY???

 

Then, only then, I realized that it was THE Amex Black. The titanium one.

 

OMG. He pays 1,800 quid a year to have that card!! Grab him!!

 

I thought Amex Black was an urban myth, I really did. That made my afternoon. Some people.

 

And in the evening I enjoyed my favourite pinot noir.

 

Life is good. I am getting better. I hate you. I love you. Eat your passion to live, it's the only way.

Whatever You Believe

I think certain things that people say are total BS. I am in a place where I would do just about anything to get out of. I am deeply down and see no light anywhere. And people tell me things, you know.

 

Get on with your life, they say; How? I can barely move. All I can manage is breath in and out. Haven't even been eating for weeks.

 

Get some exercise, it is scientifically proven to reduce your depression; Really? Exercising always made me semi suicidal. I just think too much during. How would that help?

 

Get back on the saddle; Um, no thanks. That just leads to even more heart ache.

 

Go out. Do stuff; I am too afraid to leave the house. I just don't want to bump into anyone!!

 

Really. It hurts too much to even try any of these. I wish I did drugs and went on binge sex, that seem like easier and quicker solution. Yet I never will do do.

 

Ask me again later.

 

I am sure you know where to find me. Kill my soul.