Dating an FBI Agent

That was my dream last night. Well, he was possibly actor who was acting as an agent, I can't remember any more. The guy himself is actor in Hollywood in this world, anyway.

I do know that my mind is so twisted and I have not an ounce of romance left in my bones. But I used to dream about lovely love stories I would like to experience as I grow old. Or, did I?

I was reading back some old diary from my lowteen, like, 12, 13 or 14 and found a passage saying about my ideal relationship. Again, this was from my lowteen time. There, I was loud and clear on these points;

I don't mind my boyfriend to go off for some other people, AS LONG AS he comes back to me in the end.
I NEVER want to do any couple stuff, therefore he won't need to splash money on me.
He NEVER needs to tell me that he loves me, coz I don't need to hear it.

AGAIN, this was from my LOWTEENS!

I was terrified when I found this. I must have thought I was being so mature for not being needy, but I now look at this as dysfunctionally deteriorated mind of a kid for that sort of age.

I am now no more hopeful than this passage, and it seems v. sad even to me. Why am I so cold and realistic and not dreamy about lurrve??

Anyway, so I went to sleep and bump into this dream last night. I was dating a FBI agent who wanted to show me where he works. It was LOVELY. He was so caring about me, and I felt the safest ever in my life. I was in the middle of security queue, looking at the gates (were seen before in MATRIX) and terrified of them, but at the same time I knew that I will be OK because he will be there to scoop me out from any trouble if anything went wrong. After passing the gates he got beeped for some meeting, and had to go for a while, so gave me a quick kiss and disappeared.

That was that. I woke up, feeling marvellous, and thought that was weird. I never fancied this actor guy. He so isn't my type, actually. And I never fancied that sort of relationship where I was looked after like I am a yappy puppy.

Do I want a boyfriend? Do I want to be looked after? Or, do I just want to date a FBI agent? (Well, who wouldn't?)