Back to job hunting... It is going shite. But I think it was only expected, and in that respect it really is going not bad. I have applied for so many jobs, and had bunch of interviews (which is like passing the preliminary in beauty pageant, or similar. So you know you are not a total disaster in the area.)
One time, I was asked how I would feel about sales.
"Do you feel comfortable selling our products, even if that means you are taking the last penny out of the customer's pocket?"
What the hell am I supposed to say?
"Um, yeah, sure, of course. Well, unless that person was dying or something..."
I only applied for the job because I wanted the staff discount. Lately, photo supply was out of reach for me, and I am in desperate need for cheap films and cheap processing. Well, turned out, they don't do any negs, as I half expected, so in the end I was so wishing that I don't get the job. I haven't heard back from them.
The other time, I had to drive into London, for the first time ever. It felt like I was stuck in a magic round-about for hours, though I was only there for less than hour. I never saw people switching lanes SO MUCH in traffic jams. I never been honked SO MUCH, and I have never wanted for my horn to work SO MUCH before. It was not how long it took, but I just don't think I can cope with that EVERY darn day. When I got home, I was so wishing for them to call me up and politely insult me;
"Well, we were very impressed with your PC skills.... BUT," (that sort of bollocks)
After these, I started to rethink, I mean really rethink, what I want to do for living.
Do I really want to wear suites every day and drive 2 hrs to work in a small office full of small people who call their customer "GOD"?
Do I really want to work in call centres only to hear people shouting at me through the hand set, and drag myself to home, only to return to second job because I need that extra money?
I really don't know. In a way I do. I apply for jobs with worst senario bare in my mind. I always think about getting ulcers when I imagine working for these companies. I always think about nasty comments on my weight and looks from co-workers or managers. I always think about having eating disorders and sleeping problems as a result of working for these places. And I apply for them. I think I am thinking things through.
But these things I think are what I can bear, not what I want to go through.
I am all so pessimistic all the time, I never think of what I want. I never thought about who I want to date, or which T-Shirt I want to wear. It was always, "He wants to date me, would I be OK with it?" and "That shirt is bloody cheap, do I look OK in it?"
Then I met my crush, and I felt like,
"My life is taking a turn."
just because I actually wanted to date him while he wanted to date me, too. It was a bloody miracle.
Maybe I should apply that turn onto my job situation. But then, I don't know if anyone else does that?
