That is Probably the Saddest Thing I've Evere Heard

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I hate my birthday, not because I am getting old, but because it is the day one is allowed to act the way one wishes because all the friends, family and any people around must accept that for a day, yet I always come to the realization that I don't have those people to let me do just that.

I have had a series of bad birthdays, from lacking friends' support, and love. I mean, it's not just about people not doing anything for the day, but usually people engage me for the day because they said they are doing something for me, or with me, only to let me down.

It feels wrong to make them do something, or organise it myself when they clearly don't care enough to do stuff for me, so I just don't let people know when my birthday is any more. It is still pretty sad when the day comes and you are finding yourself unable not to remembering it is the anniversary of your birth, and nobody is thanking that you were born.

This year is particularly bad because I had someone celebrate it with me last year, and it actually was one of the nicest days I have ever had, but now just phasing into a bitter memory which I am not yet prepared to treasure as a fond moment.

OK, so I have a problem about my birthday, and I am dealing with it, yes. That's not what this entry is about, I mean, that's not the saddest thing ever. I am quite cheerful till the day comes, and I will be after the day ends, I am sure on that.

So I spent whole day today, not doing house chores nor dog duties, looking up options to get away or do anything for the day to occupy me, stop me from self-pitying.

I looked up city breaks to Paris and Rome. I looked up a pampering weekend trip to North. I looked up a few things. They all cost too much, basically, because of my dogs. Their boarding fee cost as much, if not more, as my hotel + flight.

Maybe I should just take them with me to somewhere quiet where I can just let them run around, I thought.

O, why not. As long as I take them to somewhere I don't have to worry about them peeing on carpet, then it'll be relaxing enough for me. I am sure there are cottages I can rent for weekend.

So I looked that up and came across this;

"Singles Holiday including activities. Take your dog with you."

Well, never. Am not THAT sad. I refuse to go to Singles Holidays, and refuse to go anywhere with my dogs announcing the world that I am single, and looking, even if I was looking, which am not.

Urrgh, I don't know any more. What should I do, or should I just sit in my house with all the phones switched off so I know that nobody is calling?